


There is hope but not for us

by smaragdbird



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Being Hunted, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Sharing Body Heat, Wilderness Survival, politcal debates, working together for survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 15:09:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14547429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: After being shot down by Zygerrian slavers, Poe and Hux have to work together to escape their hunters but also to survive and get off the planet.Who knew that discussing politics and battle tactics could lead to feelings under a high stress environment?





	There is hope but not for us

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Надежды свет померк для нас](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17809655) by [Hux_n_Ren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hux_n_Ren/pseuds/Hux_n_Ren)



> Many thanks to [ MissjuliaMiriam ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissjuliaMiriam) who read through all my mistakes and put up with my horrible punctuation
> 
> Also check out [BishopRiecke ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BishopRiecke/pseuds/BishopRiecke) amazing art [here ](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/swbb2018/works/14535783)

Ow, Poe thought as he woke up. He really needed to stop being shot down. All those crashes couldn’t be good for his health. He reached up into his hair and his fingers came away bloody. No wonder it hurt as much as it did.

“BB8, you’re there?”

A faint and slightly panicked beep confirmed that at least he wasn’t stranded here alone.

“Hold on, buddy, I’m going to get you out.” Climbing out of the cockpit was harder than it should be. His head hurt as if a horde of reeks was stampeding through it and he was feeling light-headed and nauseous. Probably a concussion.

Since the ship’s computer wasn’t working anymore he had to climb under the rear to pull the hatch that released BB8 from its place. He just about missed having the droid land on his foot.

BB8 looked up at him and beeped questioningly. 

“I’m fine.”

BB8 gave him a very doubtful reply. [You have blood on your face.]  
“It’s just a cut, really.”

[You should sit down.]

“I’m fine,” Poe repeated. “Besides if we stay here they’re going to pick us up like ripe fruit. I’m not that keen to end up on a Zygerrian slave market, so the farther away we are the better.”

[What about the First Order?]

Poe rubbed his temples. It didn’t actually help against his headache, but he could pretend that it did. “We should check that out. I’d like to know with how many enemies I’ll have to deal with. Can you give me guess where they crashed?”

Of course, BB8 could. He was downright offended that Poe even had to ask. He really let him spend too much time with R2D2.

Poe followed his droid through the forest. The planet seemed to be a temperate one and the forest was less dense than he was used to from the jungles on Yavin or even D’Qar.

He had been trailing a First Order shuttle in hopes it would lead him to the location of Snoke. Their intel had said that some high-ranking officers would be on board, returning to the Unknown Regions after negotiations with some crime lords in the Outer Rim. But Zygerrian slavers only cared about getting new merchandise and shot down any non-Zygerrian ship that they thought they could pick off.

The shuttle hadn’t crashed too far from his own position. Poe advanced on it slowly in case they had already sent out soldiers to secure the perimeter. But the shuttle, laying on its side seemed quiet and lifeless and in an even worse condition than his ship.

BB8 beeped warningly but Poe decided to approach the shuttle anyway. His own ship was useless but maybe the shuttle was still salvageable at least for parts.

“Scan for life signs,” he told BB8. He wasn’t going to take any chances.

A moment later BB8 told him that there was one person left alive. Poe took off the safety from his blaster. He could deal with one person.

Poe climbed in through the destroyed front window. The pilot was dead, and when he made his way further inside he could see that the passengers hadn’t fared any better. The corpses were still strapped into their seats, hanging there lifelessly. 

They were officers not stormtroopers, so Poe didn’t have to take off their helmets as he quickly checked for a pulse. They were all dead, all except one. Poe recognised him from the briefings on the First Order. Finn said he had been in charge of the Starkiller Base.

Poe raised his blaster. The temptation was there. Hux had killed billions of people. Any court would find him guilty and execute him for those crimes. He was the mastermind behind the First Order’s success. No one would know if he shot him right here and now. 

Poe’s hand shook. “Damn it,” he said and lowered the blaster. He wasn’t in the habit of shooting defenceless people.

BB8 beeped questioningly.

“He could still be useful,” Poe said. He took a belt from one of the corpses and tied Hux’s hands together and then another one for his feet. It would give him a bit of time to search through the shuttle. “Keep an eye on him. Tell me when it looks like he’s about to wake up.”

First, he patted Hux down to make sure he didn’t have any weapons on him, which to Poe’s surprise, he didn’t have. He would’ve thought that a high ranking First Order officer like Hux would’ve head weapons everywhere.

Once that was done he climbed back into the cockpit. After a few minutes his hope to use the shuttle for spare parts was pretty much smashed to pieces much like the entire front of the shuttle. Poe’s ship had at least only been damaged so much that he had managed a controlled crash, but these guys had taken a direct hit to their front. If Rey had been here she might have been able to piece a hyperdrive together from the door opener and the seat belts, she was just that good, but Poe wasn’t.

Plan B it was. Only Poe didn’t have a plan B at the moment. He tried the com system with a last dash of hope but of course it was as dead as the rest of the ship.

BB8’s beeping told him to get back to the rear.

Hux was stirring. Poe quickly collected all the blasters he could find, which amounted to four altogether because other than Hux the other officers had been armed. Then he sat down opposite him, after shoving a corpse aside, and aimed the blaster directly at his chest.

Hux was younger than he had thought, Poe noticed as he watched him wake up. They were probably the same age, pretty young to be a general already, not to mention that Finn had said Hux had had command of the Starkiller Base for the last two years.

Poe watched Hux open and close his eyes a few times and grimacing. His headache probably wasn’t any better than Poe’s. His eyes flickered to his restraints and then he looked straight up at Poe.

“How nice of you to wake up,” Poe said. “Any sudden movements and I’ll shoot you.”

Hux gave him a look that clearly said he wasn’t an idiot.

“I would’ve thought your people would be buddies with the Zygerrians but then maybe they don’t take kindly to someone else encroaching on the market of kidnapping and enslaving people.”

“Is this your idea of an interrogation?” Hux sneered.

“At the moment I’m more concerned with getting off this planet.”

“If you’re here I’m guessing you were shot down as well.”

“Got it in one,” Poe replied. “We’ve got a clever one here, BB8.”

“The Zygerrians will be here any moment. You should leave while you still can.”

“I know,” Poe said calmly. “That’s why I’m offering you a truce.”

“A truce?” Hux asked.

“A truce,” Poe repeated. “We don’t try to kill each other until we’re off this planet. We have better chances of not being sold by Zygerrian slavers if we work together.”

“Why should I trust you?”

Poe rolled his eyes. “That should be my line. I’m not the one who killed billions of people or who kidnaps children to brainwash them into perfectly obedient soldiers. Also, I didn’t shoot you when I had the chance.”

He could see Hux turning the different possibilities over in his head but he trusted that the man would come to the same conclusion he had. 

[Are you insane?]

“You’re droid seems to think differently,” Hux replied.

[He’s going to kill you in your sleep.]

“He’s not wrong,” Hux said. “You have no reason to trust me.”

“I don’t trust you,” Poe replied. “But I’m sure you don’t want to end up on a Zygerrian slave market any more than I do.”

“If I say yes are you going to untie me?”

“Depends, are you going to strangle me if I do?”

“I’m sure your droid would kill me if I tried,” Hux replied with a glance at BB8, who beeped happily that he would indeed.

“I would ask you for your word,” Poe said as he untied Hux’s hands, “but I don’t think that honour means anything to you.”

“You don’t know me,” Hux replied as he untied his feet.

“I don’t care to, either.” Poe noticed that Hux had barely glanced at the other corpses in the shuttle. “We should - “He interrupted himself when heard the engines of a ship. Quickly he climbed outside and looked up at the sky, not caring if Hux followed him or not.

A transporter was hovering above them, close enough that Poe could identify it as a Zygerrian ship. A noise from behind made his hand go to the blaster but Hux didn’t try to take advantage of his momentarily distraction. Instead he looked up as well. “They’ve come to collect their spoils.”

“We should leave before they come down here or activate a tractor beam,” Poe said, already jumping out of the shuttle and to the ground. He ducked between the nearest trees and behind a thicket, just briefly glancing over his shoulder to make sure that BB8 was following him. Hux joined them a few moments later as well.

“Damn,” Poe said as he watched four Zygerrians rappel from a transporter. “I had hoped they’d land the ship.”

“If they checked your ship already they know that at least one person escaped,” Hux added. “If they went to all the trouble of shooting a one-man ship down then they won’t hesitate to hunt for you.”

“They probably ran a life sign scan on your shuttle before they attacked. They’ll know you’re missing, too,” Poe replied.

“What are we going to do?”

“Even if we can’t get their ship they may have some kind of communicator.” Poe hesitated then he gave one of the blasters to Hux. “Do you know how to use these?”

“Of course.” Hux sounded downright offended that Poe even had to ask.

“Try not to die,” Poe said and leapt out behind their cover. He kept his head down as he quickly approached the crash site. His only advantage was the element of surprise and that would be gone as soon as he fired the first shot.

Poe knew his strength was flying not shooting but considering how good Finn was he hoped that Hux would be at least adequate. He fired two blasts at the first Zygerrian and ducked behind cover again. He could hear them giving orders but didn’t speak enough of their dialect to understand them. However, if it had been his group that had been ambushed he would’ve tried to surround the attacker.

The disadvantage of being grounded was that he could only make use of two dimensions for his escape instead of three. No one knew better than him that he didn’t have the best track record of escaping without a ship. Plus, they probably knew the terrain better than he did.

Poe shot at the closest Zygerrian he could see and ducked again. At least there was plenty of cover here. He decided to go to the right, maybe he could circle behind the other two and take them out before one of them landed a hit on him.

A sizzling energy blast missed his head so closely that it made the hairs on Poe’s cheek stand. But unfortunately, it didn’t miss his hand which went numb instantly.

Poe didn’t give himself time to think and ran, zigzagging through the forest, cradling his useless hand to his chest and firing blind shots over his shoulder. He realised his mistake when the shuttle appeared directly in front of him. He turned around and fired again. 

The 3rd Zygerrian went down but the fourth grinned at him and aimed his weapon.

Three shots were fired and the Zygerrian fell to the ground. Behind him stood Hux, holding the blaster in his shaking hands.

“Thanks,” Poe said, running a hand through his hair. He was crouching down to see if the Zygerrian had anything useful on his person when he noticed that Hux was still aiming the blaster at the dead body. “You can take that down now.”

Hux didn’t seem to hear him. He stared at the corpse with wide blue eyes as if he was seeing nothing at all.

“Hux!” Poe said, louder this time. “Let go.”

He finally reacted to Poe’s words and shook his head a little before he lowered the blaster.

“You’re okay?” Poe asked.

“I’m fine,” Hux said in a clipped tone. Poe had little interest in whether or not that was true so he instead he went back to the Zygerrian and patted him down.

“Did you find anything useful?” Hux asked after a few moments during which Poe had examined what he had looted from the Zygerrian’s pockets.

Poe threw him a grin over his shoulder. “I found a map to their outpost on this planet,” he said and showed Hux the data pad.

“That’s at least a three week walk if not more,” Hux said as he took a closer look at the map. 

“I’d say closer to four actually.”

“We’ll never make that.”

Poe gave him a look. “Is everyone in the First Order this pessimistic or is that just you?”

“What about supplies?” Hux asked. “Food, water, shelter?”

“We’ll pack what we have and find the rest on the way. This planet isn’t exactly Tatooine,” Poe didn’t see where the problem was. Unless they ran into predators or Zygerrians they should be able to make it.

“I thought you were a pilot not some kind of scout,” Hux said acidly.

Poe raised his eyebrows. “I still got basic survival training. Don’t tell me you don’t.”

Hux’ nostrils flared but he didn’t say anything.

“That’s…wow…that’s pretty underwhelming for an organization that’s so focused on galactic domination.”

“The First Order is highly specialized. There was no need for me to waste time with training that I would never need.”

“Until now,” Poe grinned. “I already wondered why you hadn’t shot me yet. I figured it wasn’t just because I’m too attractive to die.”

The change in tone seemed to help Hux get over his embarrassment because he rolled his eyes. “We should get going. The Zygerrians are going to notice sooner or later that their comrades aren’t communicating with them.”

“First we need to take whatever equipment we can from your ship and from mine. Please tell me the First Order at least believes in emergency kits if not in survival training.”

“There are emergency supplies on the shuttle,” Hux said as he strode towards it. 

Poe rolled his eyes and followed him. 

/

As Poe sorted through the things they had managed to salvage from both the shuttle and his own ship he was optimistic that they would make it unless there was a sudden blizzard sweeping through this part of the planet since they didn’t have a tent. But they had sleeping bags and blankets, enough instant food rations to last them two months if they were being careful and two water purifiers. 

“What about your droid?” Hux asked.

“What about him?”

“Will his battery last for a month without recharging?”

[I’ll last longer than you, scum.]

Poe tried not to smile. BB8 was spending too much time with R2. Unfortunately, Hux had a point. “He’s right, BB8,” Poe said kneeling down, so he was closer to BB8’s level.

[What!?]

“I’ll have to power you down, buddy,” Poe said.

BB8 let out a shriek of protest. [I’m not leaving you alone with the First Order scum.]

“You don’t have the energy to keep going for four weeks without recharging,” Poe replied. “And we’ll need you to fly the ship when we find one.”

[NO!]

“He won’t kill me,” Poe said. “You heard him. He won’t last two days without me on this planet.”

“I can hear you,” Hux said.

[Shut up, First Order scum!]

“Shut up,” Poe said as well before he turned back to BB8. “I promise I’ll power you up as soon as we reach the outpost, okay?”

[No.]

“Come on, BB8, don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

“Why are you even bothering to argue with your droid? Just turn it off,” Hux said.

Poe gave him an annoyed look. “Didn’t I tell you to shut up?”

Hux huffed but said nothing.

“You won’t even notice I’m gone. I promise, nothing will happen to me. We’ll see each other again soon.”

[Remember what happened last time?]

“Yes, I do. You made a couple new friends and we all made it home.” Poe stroked BB8’s casing. “Trust me, buddy.”

BB8 gave him a long look as if trying to decide if Poe was lying or not. [If you stay away as long as R2’s master I will never speak to you again.]

Poe laughed a little. BB8 really did spend too much time with R2. “I promise.”

[Four weeks], BB8 beeped menacingly.

“Four weeks,” Poe promised and entered the sequence to shut BB8 off. “Sleep well, buddy.”

Hux scoffed. “You’re very attached to a ball of metal and circuits.”

“I know from Finn that the First Order doesn’t have a concept of friendship, but you should look it up at one point,” Poe said and went back to his feet. “That means you’ll carry our supplies and I’ll carry BB8. I know he doesn’t look like it but he’s actually pretty heavy.”

“Do you think it’s wise to put all of our equipment together?”

“No, but it’s not like we have a choice.”

“If we left the droid – “

“No,” Poe interrupted him. “BB8 is coming with us, whether you like it or not.”

“Sentiment,” Hux scoffed. “No wonder the Republic is failing.”

“Who just lost their most powerful weapon and kick-started a war? Oh, right the First Order.”

Hux pressed his lips together but said nothing. Instead he shouldered his backpack and gave Poe a challenging look. Poe in return just wondered how long the boots Hux was wearing would hold out. They looked like they were made for an indoor environment rather than a month-long track through the wilderness.

“What?” Hux snapped.

“Nothing.” Poe shrugged and slung the net he had put BB8 in over his shoulders. The data pad with their destination in hand he joined Hux and pointed north. “That way. Let’s go.”

They walked quietly and eventually at the same pace. At first Hux had kept up a quick stride as if he was marching in a parade with Poe following more slowly. Since he had been stranded on a planet before, or rather more than one, he knew that he needed to conserve this strength. Also, his aching head prevented him from running through the forest even if he had wanted to. Plus, he had the map so Hux needed to wait for him anyway.

He had to have realised that too because eventually Hux slowed down and fell into the same step as Poe. Or maybe he was getting tired. Not only the boots but the whole uniform looked as if it was not very comfortable to hike in. Poe’s flight suit at least had been designed with the idea in mind that he would wear it for long intervals at a time.

Poe looked at Hux. He was tall and very pale, probably not used to going outside at all. Although to be fair he could also be this pale because he was a ginger. One the seasonal workers on his father’s ranch had been ginger too and where everyone else had tanned under Yavin’s sun, he had remained the same, apart from some frequent sunburns.

He looked pretty young, too, Poe thought. Younger than he would’ve thought a general could be. If he had to guess he’d have said that Hux was around the same age as him, probably even a year or two younger. “How old are you?” 

For a moment Hux seemed surprised that Poe was talking to him at all but then his face hardened again. “None of your business.”

“What’s your name?”

The look Hux gave him was downright affronted. “You know what my name is.”

“What is your first name?”

“None of your business.”

“Do you even have a first name?”

Hux gave him a long, disbelieving look.

Poe grinned and held up his hands. “As far as I know your people aren’t that keen on names.”

“I’m not going to give any information to the enemy, so you can cease your pointless questions,” Hux said sharply.

Except that Poe had never been good at keeping his mouth shut. He was also reasonably sure that Hux wouldn’t murder him in his sleep no matter how much he wanted to. He might be a ruthless killer bent on galactic domination in the name of his belief system but at least he was pragmatic. As long as Hux needed him alive, Poe was relatively safe. 

As it was an uninhabited planet the undergrowth in the forest was thick and difficult to get through. It also pointed to a lack of larger animals living here as they would have thinned out the vegetation to get through. The net that he was using to transport BB8 got caught on branches more than once and Hux didn’t fare much better with his coat. 

Poe kept looking upwards to track the movement of the sun across the sky as well as he could beneath the thick canopy of leaves. He hadn’t been in a forest this dense since he had left Yavin.

Occasionally he glanced over at Hux who hadn’t said a single word since Poe had asked him about his first name. Considering that Finn had described him as someone who liked the sound of their own voice, he was remarkably tight-lipped.

“Are they going to look for you, the First Order?” Poe asked. 

“Are your people going to search for you?” Hux asked back.

“Definitely,” Poe replied. “Though considering the Zygerrians pulled us out of hyperspace they have no clue where to look.”

“Exactly.”

“Doesn’t mean they won’t try. And you didn’t answer my question.”

“You answered your own question.”

“You are a general, shouldn’t they put a bit of effort into finding you?”

“And you are General Organa’s right-hand man. And you have Luke Skywalker, shouldn’t he be able to find you?”

“You have the Knights of Ren,” Poe countered. “You have to work with Kylo Ren on a daily basis, don’t you? I’d have thrown myself out of an airlock already if I were you.”

“Then it is fortunate that I am not you.”

“That depends how you look at it,” Poe replied and glanced up at the sky again. “We should make camp soon.”

“It’s still light,” Hux replied. “We need to cover as much ground as possible.”

Poe shook his head. “We have no idea how fast the sun sets on this planet. We should secure our sleeping space while we still can see. Besides, I’m hungry.”

Hux snorted derisively but didn’t comment on it. “There’s not much cover around here. And we don’t have a tent.”

“No,” Poe agreed, looking around. “I’m not keen on sleeping on the ground like this but I guess we don’t have a choice. It’s too bad this planet is uninhabited aside from the Zygerrians.”

“A temperate planet without a native or a settler community?” Hux sounded sceptical.

Poe shrugged. “It’s far off from any major trade routes or even most minor ones. If there’s nothing of value here, it’s not surprising no one ever settled here. Plus, there’s the Zygerrians.”

“These are Gevarno trees. They’re worth a fortune.”

Poe raised his eyebrows. “You’re big fan of trees?”

Hux looked annoyed that he had let himself slip like that as if his knowledge about timber could somehow disadvantage the First Order. “Trade,” he answered nonetheless. “It’s the backbone of every society, every civilisation, and every government.”

Poe smiled. “That wasn’t so hard, was it? The world hasn’t crumbled just because you shared some information.”

“Don’t think I’ll make it a habit,” Hux replied but his tone was less acidic than it had been during the whole day. 

Fortunately, the emergency rations were self-heating as neither of them thought it would be prudent to make a fire when the Zygerrians were looking for them. Poe’s headache and nausea had worsened throughout their hike and he had to force himself to eat. 

“I’ll keep watch while you sleep,” Hux said as soon as he had finished his half of the ration.

“I can – “Poe started but Hux interrupted him.

“You have a concussion. And I have been trained to be unaffected by a lack of sleep.”

That Hux had noticed his concussion surprised Poe when it probably shouldn’t have. If he had learned one thing about Hux so far then that the man was quite perceptive.

“If you’re worried I’m going to kill you in your sleep – don’t be,” Hux gave him a humourless smile. “As you pointed out I have no wilderness training. Your continued survival is to my advantage.”

Poe was too tired to argue. “Good night then,” he said and crawled into his sleeping bag.

/

The next few days continued mostly in the same pattern except that Hux did have to sleep eventually. Poe’s headache started to fade together with the nausea and he took more pleasure in goading Hux into replying to his stories about the Empire, one more outlandish than the next.

“You sound as if the Empire was solely to blame for the rise of slavery in the Outer Rim,” Hux replied tersely after Poe had claimed that the Empire had regularly bought slaves for cheap labour, especially for the spice mines.

“Because the Empire turned a blind eye to the slavers, encouraged them even.”

“And the old Republic didn’t? As soon as it benefited them, they made a deal with the Hutts during the Clone wars.”

“That’s different than actually buying slaves themselves.”

“Why? What makes freedom so precious? It generates chaos and misery. To function a society, any society needs rules. How free are you really?”

“I had choices,” Poe replied. “Finn didn’t.”

Hux scoffed. “You’re judging all of the First Order from the actions and opinions of one man.”

“Did you have a choice?” Poe asked, stopping to look at Hux properly. There was a moment when an expression that Poe would’ve described as uncertainty crossed his face, but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

“I didn’t need one,” Hux replied. “I am fulfilling my part in rebuilding the glory of the Empire.”

“What if you hadn’t? What if the choice that was made for you had been the wrong one? I mean Finn said he was trained from birth to be a stormtrooper. What if you had been exceptionally bad at being a General?”

“Flaws can be eliminated,” Hux said stubbornly.

“Not all of them,” Poe replied. “Besides can you really be good at something if you don’t like it? If you have to force yourself to go through with it?”

“Like it?” Hux said as if the idea was something disgusting to him. “Doing your duty should be fulfilment enough.”

“But to what purpose? What’s the end goal? Palpatine wanted power for the sake of having power but he didn’t do anything with it once he had it.” Poe knew that they were wasting time standing around in a forest debating politics, but this was something he had never understood about the Empire or the First Order. “Let’s say you win and rule the galaxy, what now? What will you do? Do you want to eliminate poverty? Improve droid rights? Or make everyone believe the galaxy should be painted pink?”

“I would bring order to the galaxy,” Hux sounded absolutely sure of his answer. There was no hesitation in his voice, no uncertainty in his expression. “Every being, every organic, every droid in this galaxy would have their place. Everyone would have their role and in fulfilling it would maintain strength and unity of the Empire.”

“Your vision sounds like my worst nightmare.”

Hux’s nose flared with annoyance. “What would you do then?”

“I wouldn’t even try to rule the galaxy. Concentrating that much power in the hand of one person would inevitably lead to corruption. We’ve seen that with the Empire. Without checks and balances no one could stop me to impose my vision no matter what I do to achieve it.”

“And with those checks and balances you eliminate all progress because no one ever stops debating something for long enough to actually implement it.”

“Not saying that democracy is perfect, but I would take slow progress with accountability over anything else.”

“And in this why you will fail,” Hux said with absolute conviction.

“Having a system without accountability, without checks and balances for the use of power is why you will fail,” Poe replied, no less convinced. 

They stared at each other. To Poe Hux’s convictions were so alien that he might as well have been a creature from beyond the borders of the galaxy. There was no common ground between them. It was as if they were looking at the sky and to Hux it looked orange while to Poe it was blue and both of them were completely convinced that they were right and the other one was wrong.

“I guess we’ll see who wins,” Poe said eventually. “But first we have to make it off this planet.”

“After you,” Hux said with a sharp nod.

To decrease the hostility between them Poe did stop talking for a while and when he picked it up again, he kept to less controversial topics than politics. They ranged from Hux’s thoughts about Kemetian Hummus to the revival of the Sylphian opera and droid rights. Most of the time Hux didn’t answer, didn’t even tell him to shut up once he realised that that was useless, but Poe counted every non-verbal reaction as a win.

/

The first major obstacle they encountered was a river after about a week of marching. It cut through the forest, too broad to be jumped and the surface was deceptively calm. Poe set BB8 on the ground and knelt down at the edge to fill up their empty water canteens. So far, they hadn’t needed any additional water apart from the water compressor they had with them, but it was good to have a fallback in case it failed. They had quite a few water purification tablets from the salvaged emergency kit.

Poe sighed a little and rubbed his cheek when he saw his reflection. A full beard hadn’t been on his list of things to try but the situation being what it was he would have to live with it until they reached civilisation again.

“Can you swim?” Hux asked who was looking at the river contemplatively.

“Can you?” Poe asked back. He knew what Hux was thinking about and he also knew it wasn’t a good idea, still he liked the opportunity to get some information out of Hux even as useless as this one was.

“Of course, I can swim.”

“Well, if you’re thinking about swimming through that river, forget it.” Poe would’ve liked it to be different. Tracking through woodland without a shower or a change of clothes was starting to make them both smell rather ripe and it would get worse from here. Perhaps somewhere along the line he would get used to it out of necessity.

“We have to; it’s the quickest way to the outpost.”

“One, I can’t swim while carrying BB8, two wading into an unknown river is likely to get you killed.”

Hux scoffed as if he didn’t think either of those points were valid. “And three?”

“Look,” Poe took a twig from the ground and placed it under the water surface. Instead of going up the twig vanished in the depths of the river. “Currents,” Poe said. “If we try to swim the same will happen to us.”

Hux pressed his lips together. “We need to cross the river, if not here then either upstream or downstream.”

Poe got back to his feet and activated the holo map. “Upstream means a delay of what – five days maybe more. Downstream gives us a chance to find a shallower crossing but the river’s leaving the forest within two days marching.”

“We’ll go upstream,” Hux said. “Or do you disagree?”

“For once I don’t,” Poe grinned. “Try not to die from the shock.” He checked the map again. “It’ll lead us further up into the mountains, but it doesn’t look like the river’s spring is beyond the treeline, so we should be safe.”

“Safe,” Hux scoffed.

“Well we could also walk out into the open and wait for the Zygerrians to pick us up,” Poe said with more sarcasm than he had intended. “Since you don’t like choices you might enjoy being a slave.”

“I would survive, you would not,” Hux said with certainty.

“You don’t know me,” Poe replied and shouldered BB8 again. “I’m surprised the First Order hasn’t made an alliance with the Zygerrians. Heard they’re yearning for the Empire too.”

“Their Empire,” Hux corrected him as they started walking again, following the river upstream. “The Zygerrians used to rule the galaxy before the Old Republic.”

“Considering your Empire didn’t like non-human I can see why you wouldn’t team up with them.”

“Non-humans have their place but it is not the same as humans, it cannot be, their culture and biology is too different.”

“You’re human and I’d rather join the Mon-Calamari than the First Order,” Poe quipped. “A different biology doesn’t mean they’re better or worse than me. I bet you also don’t think droids should have rights.”

Hux looked at him as Poe had asked him to believe in democracy. “Droids are machines. What would they need rights for?”

“Because they’re sentient beings with feelings and thoughts and opinions.”

“Only if you don’t wipe them regularly.”

“I was going to say you wouldn't do that to a human but you probably would.”

“Only if I had to,” Hux replied and then added, “Droids can fulfil their duties when they’re wiped, organics tend not to.”

“Right,” Poe grimaced. “That’s this re-education process that Finn told me about.”

“It seems the traitor was very thorough in spreading information,” Hux said, his lips curling with disdain.

“Don’t call him that,” Poe said sharply. “He has a name.”

“Regardless he is a traitor to the First Order, something you see as positive, doubtlessly,” Hux sneered.

“Finn did save my life, can’t argue with that,” Poe said lightly. “Maybe when this is over you’ll like me, too.”

The look Hux gave him was so appalled that it was almost comical and Poe couldn’t help but laugh.

/

As they were higher up the undergrowth was not as thick and they could cover more ground than they had before. The incline wasn’t steep either so it did not take much more energy to follow the river, which was fortunate as subsisting on one meal per day wasn’t ideal. Poe had grown used to being hungry all the time and he had to force himself to eat slowly when they did instead of wolfing it down.

“It’s getting pretty cold,” Poe said when they made camp three days later. Following the river upstream had led them into higher territory, but thankfully not so high that it wasn’t covered with trees anymore. “We should take some precautions to stay warm at night.”

“We cannot light a fire,” Hux replied.

“I know. I was thinking of something else,” Poe said and dragged Hux’s sleeping bag next to his own before he started zipping them together.

“What are you doing?” Hux sounded so scandalised Poe couldn’t help but smile.

“I told you it’s going to be cold at night. It’s warmer if we share.” And with a smirk he added, “Don’t worry I have no designs on your virtue.”

Hux pressed his lips tightly together and but the flush to his cheeks gave away how obviously embarrassed he was.

“Don’t tell me cuddling is also forbidden in the First Order.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Hux said with the usual annoyed undertone that Poe had come to expect from him whenever he felt embarrassed. “Can I see the map?”

“Sure,” Poe reached into his pocket and handed it over. It was a fairly detailed map, showing far more of the planet than should’ve been necessary. Their position was marked by a small orange dot blinking near the river. The outpost was also marked and earlier Poe had drawn the quickest route from their crash site to it. He watched curiously as Hux activated it and zoomed in on the location of the outpost. Then he zoomed out again and took a look at their current position.

“What are you thinking?” Poe asked after a while, having watched the frown on Hux’s face deepen.

“We should stay at this altitude,” Hux replied, for once sounding serious without also being annoyed. “We’re covering much more ground this way.”

“Sure, but the mountain range we’re currently on curves westwards and we need to go east,” Poe reached over and zoomed out. “The more time we make up here we’ll lose in the valley because the way will be longer.”

“Not if we cross the mountain range here,” he pointed far further south than Poe had initially looked. “According to this map there is a pass here and we need to make it over the mountains in any case.”

“Not bad for a guy with no survival training,” Poe said, impressed.

“Don’t sound too surprise,” Hux replied with a touch of his usual annoyed tone. “Map reading is a basic skill.”

“Just learn to take a compliment,” Poe said and laid down on, resting his head on the folded-up net he was using to transport BB8. “Good night,” he added as he closed his eyes.

There was a moment of hesitation but then Hux replied, “Good night.”

/

For a moment Poe didn’t know what had woken him. Was it an animal or maybe the noise of a ship flying overhead? But then he realised what the sound was and where it was coming from. On the other side of their shared sleeping bag, Hux was whimpering in his sleep. He was twisting and turning too, and his face showed fear and pain.

Poe reached over to shake his shoulder. “Wake up.”

Hux didn’t react, too caught in whatever kind of nightmare he was having. 

“Wake up,” Poe said more loudly, shaking his shoulder harder.

Hux’s eyes shot open. He took a few panicked breaths and where his shirt opened Poe could feel how clammy his skin was despite that the inside of the sleeping bag was actually nice and cosy. 

“You’re okay?” Poe asked, meaning it half as a question and half as reassurance.

“I’m fine,” Hux replied coldly and shrugged Poe’s hand from his shoulder. He turned away from Poe.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Poe asked.

“It’s none of your business.”

“You woke me up,” Poe pointed out. “If talking keeps that from happening again, it is my business.”

“Talking won’t help. Go back to sleep and leave me alone.”

“I get nightmares too.”

Hux let out an annoyed exhale. “Will you let it go?”

“Not likely.”

The ensuing silence lasted so long that Poe had almost fallen asleep again when Hux said, very faintly, “The ambush. I dreamed about our ambush on the Zygerrians. Happy?”

Poe thought about what Hux had said for a moment before he answered. “You never killed someone face to face before, did you?”

He took Hux’s silence for a confirmation until Hux said quietly, “I did once when I was in school. To get into the officer track you need to kill one of the students with bad performances and make it look like an accident.”

“You people are fucked up,” Poe replied. 

Hux turned around. “It is good for motivation and it teaches you a valuable lesson.”

“How to be a psychopath?” Poe asked. “How old were you?”

“Twelve. “

“I was still playing Jedi and Sith with my friends when I was twelve.”

“Imagine how much better you could be if you had started training earlier.”

“I was flying, too, taking my mum’s old A-wing around Yavin.”

“But that wasn’t training.”

Poe shrugged. “I wanted to be a pilot since I was six when my mum let me fly for the first time. I’m not just good at what I do because I started early, I’m good at it because I love it. Without it I wouldn’t have had the motivation.”

Hux scoffed slightly. “Fulfilling your duty should be sufficient motivation.”

“Okay, what did you want to be as a kid then?”

Hux shrugged. “I never had to think about it. I was trained for my position since I was five.”

“Five?” Poe frowned. “I thought only stormtroopers started that early.”

“The same training for different roles,” Hux replied. 

“So, you never had a choice?”

Hux huffed. “We’ve talked about this. Freedom doesn’t exist. It’s an illusion.”

“I still had choices,” Poe insisted. “I became a pilot because I wanted to. No one would’ve stopped me from becoming a chef or a musician if I had wanted to.”

“And that is exactly why the Republic is doomed,” Hux said. He sounded so sure that it was hard to argue with him. No matter what Poe would say, it wouldn’t change Hux’s mind.

/

Poe got woken up by Hux’s nightmares every single of the following nights for as long as they shared their sleeping bags though they didn’t talk about them anymore. Still some of that ice between them was broken since there were now some courtesies from Hux like saying good morning or good night. Not that Poe was too keen on becoming close with the man who had overseen the enslavement of thousands of people like Finn and the destruction of an entire solar system, but something about Hux fascinated him in a way a shipwreck fascinated him. They were about the same age Poe guessed and yet they had ended up on completely different sides, their views uncompromisable with each other. A part of him really wanted to know why and how that had happened.

“So, these trees are worth a fortune?” Poe asked, remembering a comment Hux had made on their first day on this planet.

The look Hux gave him, showed that he was surprised Poe remembered that. “Yes.”

“Then why don’t the Zygerrians use them?”

“I don’t know, perhaps they have a cultural taboo about lumber milling.”

“That seems like an odd restriction to have for a culture that spanned the entire galaxy once,” Poe said sceptically. “I guess slavery is much more profitable. I mean you guys are buying from them.”

“Hardly,” Hux replied. 

“My mistake, you probably enslaved the native people of the Unknown Regions and build your -”

Suddenly Hux tackled him and threw them both to the ground. Poe was about to complain when he heard it too. A ship. A Zygerrian ship going the sound the engine made. The ship made zig zag patterns across the forest from what Poe could see from beneath the trees. 

“We need to split up,” Poe said quietly. “In case they have a life sign scanner - “

“They want us alive,” Hux interrupted him. “That puts them at a disadvantage. If they come down here we’ll take them.”

“If?” Poe echoed. “Why else would they be here?”

“To track us,” Hux said. “To see where we’re going. They know we killed their colleagues the last time around. They know now that they have to be careful.”

“At least as long as we stay in the forest,” Poe added. “Without cover they have the advantage.”

“Were you planning on leaving the forest?” Hux asked.

“We’ll have to,” Poe replied and pulled out the holo-map. “If we want to make it there in four weeks, there is at least a week’s worth of flat terrain that we’ll have to cross.”

The outpost lay at the foot of a mountain range that was too high to cross without proper equipment and from the other three sides there was nothing but grasslands. Hux frowned at the map. “If we want to stay covered - “

“We’ll have to cross the mountains here and then turn around and come from the back on their side of the range,” Poe finished for him, zooming out of the map and tracing the alternative route with his finger. “That could easily take us months.”

“We don’t have months. We could go through the mountains,” Hux suggested, pointing that range that was right at the back of the Zygerrians outpost. “They’ll never see us coming from there.”

“Do you see how high up this terrain goes?” Poe pointed angrily at the map. “It’s too cold. We can’t survive that.”

“We can’t survive the long way around either,” Hux shot back. “We’ll starve to death.”

“This is a temperate planet with plenty of resources, we’ll find a way,” Poe said.

“Or we could try and seek shelter in the mountains. There’s bound to be caves there. If we take wood, we can make a fire without being detected,” Hux countered.

Poe tilted his head as he thought about it. “We could supplement the rations by hunting, maybe even fishing. And if you recognise any more useful plants, then we’ll have something else to eat.”

“We’d have to make a fire to be able to eat any meat or fish,” Hux pointed out.

Poe shrugged. “If they’re really tracking us, it won’t make a difference.”

“And even if they’re not, we’ll make an easy target on the open plains,” Hux added.

“Should’ve known that just marching there and taking over would’ve been too easy,” Poe said more to himself than to Hux.

/

The weather turned on them as well. So far it had been pleasantly warm and sunny and most of all dry. Now though the sun was usually obscured by a thick layer of clouds and the wind had started to freshen up. The rain had started out as a fine, almost mist-like drizzle that the thick canopy of leaves had mostly protected them from. Now though it had turned into an icy downpour that they couldn’t seem to hide from. Poe was relatively safe in his flight suit which had been designed to withstand a number of different environments, though he would’ve loved if it had included a hood. But Hux, in his already worn-down uniform, looked like a drowned rat.

With the sky being perpetually grey and clouded it was harder to tell the time but out of habit Poe kept glancing up anyway. He pushed the wet strands of his hair from his face and shivered when cold drops of water ran from his neck underneath his collar. He wished he had kept his helmet but knew that it would’ve been just useless weight most of the time.

Next to him Hux was not even hiding the fact that he was shivering which meant that he was a lot more miserable than he let on. The rain had turned the ground into a wide field of mud and made walking a chore even for Poe who had proper boots. He expected Hux’s fancy looking but poorly designed boots to fall apart any moment now.

“You look terrible,” Poe said. The weather had taken its toll on him too and he had barely spoken today at all. 

Hux gave him a scathing look that failed to impress Poe even more than usual since Hux looked like a cat that had survived being drowned in a river and his expression made him look more grumpy than venomous. 

“We should take the first dry spot we can find as shelter,” Poe continued, “I have no idea what time it is and, in this weather, we should play it safe.”

Wordlessly Hux pointed ahead and through the rain Poe could make out an overhang that looked dry enough even if it was less protected than he had hoped for.

“If you keep being this competent I’m going to start fearing for my life,” Poe quipped which earned him a huff and Hux passed him, boots squelching in the mud as he walked quicker to reach the overhang.

The relief of being out of the rain didn’t last long. They were still dripping wet and unprotected from the wind. The overhang was too small for them to roll out their sleeping bags but they had also packed a couple of the emergency blankets from the First Order shuttle. Poe put one of the foil blankets down on the ground so they could both rest. 

They sat there in an exhausted kind of silence but Poe felt that Hux’s eyes kept straying to him whenever Hux thought he wasn’t looking. However, when Poe looked in his direction Hux stared out into the rain as if he hadn’t done anything else. Twilight had already set in and it was good that they had stopped when they did as they wouldn’t have made much further today. A gust of wind swept by and Hux shivered violently under his drenched overcoat.

“Come on,” Poe said, tilting his head. “It’ll be warmer if we’re closer together.”

“I’m fine,” Hux said only to be betrayed by his body shivering again. 

“Do we have to fight about this every single time?” Poe sighed. “You’re human. And you’re going get hypothermia if you don’t get out of that wet coat.”

“It’ll dry,” Hux said stubbornly. 

Poe rolled his eyes. “I need you to survive so I can survive. And I’m the one with actual survival training so please listen to me.”

Hux pressed his lips together as he exhaled and then asked, “What do you suggest?”

“Get out of that coat, take the blanket, I’ll get between your legs, drape the coat over our front and we’ll stay like that until the morning” Poe explained. 

“The rain might stop soon,” Hux said and did Poe imagine things or was there a slight flush to his cheeks? It was hard to tell beneath the ginger beard.

“Sure, and you might defect to the Resistance soon, it’s just as likely,” Poe quipped and grinned when Hux shot him a dark look.

Slowly and reluctantly Hux peeled out of his overcoat and gave it to Poe in exchange for the blanket that he wrapped around his shoulders as Poe carefully settled between his legs, leaning his back against Hux’s chest and draped the wet overcoat over their legs.

It felt strange to be this close to each other. Sure, they had shared their sleeping bags for the past week but they each kept to their own side. This was the closest they had ever been and it felt more intimate than it had any right to. Hux was his enemy, Poe told himself. He was responsible for the destruction of an entire solar systems with billions of people dead. He was the one responsible for the stormtrooper training, for kidnapping and enslavement of hundreds of thousands of children like Finn.

Their alliance was only temporary and based on a mutual need for survival, nothing else, yet being this close to Hux in this kind of situation made it easier to see him as solely human, vulnerable and laughably out of his depth, and not a vital piece of a system that wanted to destroy anything Poe believed in and held dear.

He still fell asleep quicker than he had thought he would, his head resting against Hux’s shoulder, lulled into sleep by the sound of the rain and Hux’s heartbeat.

/

When he woke up it was light again, or rather the same washed-out grey that filtered through the clouds, the rain and the forest. Sitting like this he felt a lot warmer than he had in days and the regular noise of the rain was strangely familiar and made him feel safe.

“Good morning,” he said as pulled his head away from the hollow of Hux’s neck. Not for the first time he thought that he would happily shoot someone if it meant getting access to a shower or a bath. Any cleaning facility really. At this point he’d take a lake.

“Good morning,” Hux replied as he had done ever since Poe had woken him from his nightmares. That he hadn’t been woken up by Hux’s trashing when the nightmares had come every single night so far, made him suspicious.

“Did you sleep at all?” 

“Yes.” The admission sounded strangely vulnerable as if it was something Hux was ashamed about. Poe was also surprised that Hux hadn’t gotten up yet to continue their journey. They needed to leave but after yesterday neither of them was keen to go out in the rain again.

“It often rains on Yavin, too, but at least it’s warm there,” Poe said as he watched the rain. 

“Is that where you grew up?” Hux asked eventually when Poe had not expected to hear an answer from him. “I thought it had been abandoned by the Rebellion after the destruction of the first Death Star.”

“We came back,” Poe replied. “It’s not a bad place to live aside from the thoroughly evil monkeys that steal all your food if you aren’t careful.”

“Would you go back?” Hux sounded oddly hesitant.

Poe thought about it for a moment but then he shook his head. “I’m not good with animals. My parents have a ranch so you can imagine how well that went. Besides why would I ever give up flying?”

“Because you said you could if you wanted to. Was there never anything else you wanted to do?”

Poe shrugged. “Not really. Nothing compares to flying, to having the entire galaxy at the tips of my fingers.”

“You say that but it’s not true,” Hux said even though he sounded less antagonistic than usual. “You’re a soldier, you’re not truly free. You follow orders.”

“Most of the time,” Poe said, thinking about his unauthorised recon mission that had landed him in the Resistance. “But I chose this kind of life and if I wanted I could resign and go wherever I want to. I know Finn couldn’t do that. Could you?”

Poe didn’t really expect an answer from Hux and he wasn’t surprised by the silence that followed his question. “My first memory is my mum taking me up in her old A-Wing,” Poe continued. “I think I was maybe three years old at that point. I was six when she let me steer it the whole way from start to landing for the first time. There’s nothing like it, overcoming the gravity that tries to keep you on the ground, leaving the atmosphere behind and feeling how much faster, how much smoother it is to fly through vacuum. Landing always feels like a disappointment. If I could I would spend my entire life in space. My dad always joked that me and my mum have some purgil ancestry.”

“A what?” Poe hadn’t expected Hux to actually listen to his story and even less to ask him a question about it. So, he launched in a description of what a purgil was and how vital they had been for the liberation of Lothal. He tried to make the story sound as exciting as Hera had back when she had told him and Jacen and Ben about it. Back then he had been envious that the Force would one day allow Jacen and Ben to call upon these majestic creatures whereas he would probably never see them. That had been before Ben had ruined everything of course.

“I would’ve thought you know about the Liberation of Lothal,” Poe finished, “After all it was Grand Admiral Thrawn’s last battle.”

Hux shook his head. “I’ve never heard that name before.”

Incredulous Poe turned his head to look at Hux. “You never heard about Grand Admiral Thrawn, one of the leading military geniuses of the Empire? The guy who invented the TIE Defender? He was such a good strategist that we’re still studying his battles in military school even though as a person he was colder than Hoth and more ruthless that a Hutt.”

“He couldn’t have been that important if he was never mentioned on our side,” Hux replied.

“Well he was a Chiss,” Poe said, having realised what probably had been the real reason why Thrawn was excluded from the First Order history and strategy books. “And you people really don’t like non-humans.”

“If he was an alien then he couldn’t have been as good or as high-ranking as you said he was,” Hux replied dismissively.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Usually Poe wouldn’t have defended an Imperial officer but Thrawn’s tactics throughout the Galactic Civil War up until Lothal had been so good and the design of the TIE Defender so flawless that he felt compelled to. He omitted the TIE Defender design, knowing that Hux couldn’t care less about ships, and instead launched into a description of the battle of Batonn. Strategy was something that Hux did care about, enough to debate with Poe about at least. Even though the rain stopped at one point, they both kept arguing about Thrawn’s victories, both too engrossed in the topic to really notice how late it was.

Eventually Hux grudgingly accepted that Thrawn’s strategies had some merit even for a non-human and somehow their conversation turned from Thrawn into Poe telling Hux about the time he and his squadron had teamed up with the Wookies.

To Poe’s satisfaction Hux was laughing at the end of the story. It made him look about five years younger and softened the sharp edges of his face that were still visible above the beard.

“Why are you telling me this?” Hux asked once he had stopped laughing.

“Why not?” Poe replied. “At least you’re not sick of my stories yet. I swear by the stars if I tell the one with Snaps and the Trandoshans one more time in Jess’ vicinity she is going to kill me.”

“You’re providing me with information I could be using against you,” Hux said.

“Is that why you won’t tell me your first name?” Poe asked. “Because I could use it against you?”

“Any kind of information is useful,” Hux insisted. “Anything can be used as a weapon under the right circumstances.”

“I am already your enemy,” Poe pointed out. “When we get out of here nothing will have changed no matter if I know your first name or your favourite food or not.”

“Then why all these questions?” Hux wanted to know. “What is the purpose behind them?”

“I want to get to know you,” Poe answered truthfully. “Partially because I’m naturally curious and partially because I just don’t understand you and why you have those views. Besides from what I know about the First Order it’s fascinatingly terrifying like a star destroyer as it burns and breaks apart in the atmosphere of a planet its crashing on.”

Hux raised an eyebrow. “Must you compare everything to ships?”

“Hazard of being stranded with a pilot,” Poe quipped before he became serious again. “Are you not curious? I must be as alien to you as you are to me.”

“Has it occurred to you that I might not care?”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

/

Even though the rain had stopped the sky was still overcast and Poe suspected that it could start raining again at any moment. The ground was still wet and hard to walk on, muddy as it was, and their late start meant that they wouldn’t make it very far today. Still Poe couldn’t bring himself to consider it a day wasted. Hux was finally actually talking to him, which Poe considered quite the achievement even if it was still mostly about battle tactics. 

The continuing rain meant that Hux’s idea to stick to this mountain range a lot longer than originally planned before making it through the valley that lay between them and the mountain range they actually needed to either cross or get around to reach the outpost, turned out to be an excellent one. It was not only the less densely grown forest that made it easier to get ahead but the rougher landscape also provided more and easier shelter from the rain at night.

Sooner or later they would have to go back into the woodland glen but Poe hoped that by the time it was absolutely unavoidable the rain would ease up a little. After all this wasn’t Jabiim.

Hux, as it turned out, knew a lot about historic battles, not just the ones from the Galactic Civil War or the Clone Wars but also ones reaching further back all the way to the Mandalorian Wars. One day they started out debating the war in its entirety with Hux taking the side of the Mandalorians and Poe the Republic’s and ended it having switched sides since Hux admired Revan’s decisive victory at Malachor while Poe felt naturally opposed to every and all weapons of mass destruction.

By the time they had made it across the valley and into the second mountain range they had covered nearly every significant battle in galactic history since the days of the Old Republic. This morning Poe had started speaking about the Battle of Endor. Growing up he had heard a lot of different versions of it, from his parents and L’ulo to Luke to Admiral Ackbar to Hera and Leia.

Endor was a battle Hux knew a lot about too, from a completely different perspective of course, since it had been even more of a turning point in the Galactic Civil War than the Battle of Yavin. Jakku had been important too but given his recent experiences Poe wasn’t too keen on talking about Jakku and going by the way he tensed when Poe mentioned it, neither was Hux.

It happened quickly. One moment Hux was beside him, the two of them having exhausted their discussion about the Battle of Endor because for once they had mostly agreed on the tactical mistakes made by the Empire as well as the strokes of luck the rebellion had had, and in the next there was a yelp from Hux and he was ten meters further downhill in the dirt.

His backpack had opened during the fall and half of their supplies were scattered between Poe and Hux across the hillside. Despite the situation Poe couldn’t help but snort. “You’re okay?” He yelled as he started to pick up their supplies.

“I’m fine,” Hux replied in that tone that Poe knew meant he was embarrassed and didn’t want to show it. He shrugged off the backpack and used the tree that had ended his undignified downhill slide as support to get up only to fall down again with a strangled cry.

Poe stopped collecting their things and walked over to him. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Hux repeated as he tried to get up again though his words were revealed as a lie the moment he tried to put any pressure on his right foot. He managed to keep upright this time though only by holding onto the tree and keeping his foot slightly lifted.

“Maybe you should sit down,” Poe suggested.

The look Hux gave him for his suggestion was pure poison but that was nothing new and he did slide back down onto the forest floor.

Poe knelt down next to him. “Can I?” he asked. “I’ve got some first aid training.”

“Is there anything you haven’t dabbled in?” Hux scoffed but he didn’t protest when Poe carefully examined his ankle.

“I’m a dreadful artist and like I told you I’m not good with animals,” Poe said as he rotated Hux’s foot, watching his face for a sign that it hurt. “If I had to make an estimated guess I’d say your ankle is sprained but not broken.”

“I’m fine,” Hux said although his voice sounded a little strained. 

“I remember passing another overhang not too far from here. We should be okay with a couple days delay.”

“I can walk,” Hux insisted.

Poe rolled his eyes. “Maybe up and down the bridge of a star destroyer but we’re tracking through the wilderness.”

“Do you think this is my first time?” Hux hissed. “I can walk.”

Poe raised his eyebrows. “I don’t care what fucked up techniques they taught you in the First Order but I’m saying we’re staying here for a few days.”

“It’s an unnecessary delay,” Hux replied, his nostrils flaring with annoyance.

“I’m not one of your slaves you can order around,” Poe said, meeting Hux’s eyes calmly. “We’re staying. Get used to it. And you’ll rest that ankle even if I have to tie you down.”

“Fine, have it your way,” Hux huffed but his ankle had to hurt more than he would admit since he accepted Poe’s help getting up without further protest. Poe slung Hux’s arm over his shoulders and wrapped his own around Hux’s waist. Carrying both Hux and BB8 was hard work and the ground didn’t make it any easier. Poe had to be careful that he didn’t slip too.

By the time they made it to the place Poe had in mind, a cave entrance he had spotted in the distance when they had walked past, they were both exhausted and panting. Poe’s back ached as if he had carried the entire planet on his shoulders and Hux was so pale Poe had seen corpses that had looked livelier.

“Do you think it’s safe?” Hux asked, trying to catch his breath after Poe had helped him sit down at the cave entrance.

“We haven’t seen any kind of animal that could be using this as shelter,” Poe replied, carefully putting BB8 down. After weeks of carrying him in the improvised net bag his shoulders were starting to look raw as the straps were chafing and cutting into his skin.

“Just because we haven’t seen them, doesn’t mean there aren’t any,” Hux pointed out and while he could be right Poe doubted that. He had been wondering for a while why they hadn’t seen anything larger than a few small birds, insects and a couple rodents. He suspected that the Zygerrians had something to do with it, after all it wouldn’t do to have some forest cat or bear eat your merchandise just because you hadn’t been careful.

“I’m going to check,” Poe said, rolling his shoulders and stretching his back to get the kinks out. “Don’t go anywhere.”

Hux rolled his eyes and huffed in annoyance which was probably the most casual gesture Poe had witnessed from him yet even after weeks of debating centuries of battle tactics. Maybe he was getting through to Hux and for some reason the thought made him smile as he set off into the cave. 

He had taken the torch from their emergency supplies but as it turned out he didn’t need to turn it on. The cave wasn’t very deep, reaching maybe three meters into the mountain and it wasn’t more than two meters wide behind the much narrower cave entrance. 

“We’re good,” Poe announced when he came back outside. “It’s not big but it’ll be warmer and drier than anywhere we have slept in weeks.” He carried BB8 inside first, placing him on the far side of the cave so he wouldn’t be exposed to the wind and the rain. Poe missed him dreadfully. BB8 would have quite a few things to say to him about his burgeoning companionship with Hux. And once they’d hopefully reach the outpost and Poe could turn him back on, he would give Poe an earful about leaving him for longer than the four weeks he had promised.

Then Poe carried the bag with their supplies inside, rolling out their sleeping bags, separate this time and finally he helped Hux inside as well. 

/

The first thing, Poe decided as he and Hux split half a ration between them, he was going to do when they were back in civilisation was eating the biggest bag of koyo fruits he could find. He’d take them into the shower so he could and get cleaned up at the same time.

“Too bad we’re not near the river anymore,” Poe said between licking his fingers clean. “I could try and fish for our dinner.”

“Are there even fish on this planet?” Hux asked. He had taken off his boot and sock and Poe had brought him some mud he had piled around his ankle to keep it cool since it hadn’t started raining again and they couldn’t waste any water.

“There’s probably something in the water,” Poe replied. “I’m not a big fan of seafood to be honest but at this point I’ll take anything. Though if we find koyo fruits in the Zygerrian outpost I’m calling dibs.”

Hux wrinkled his nose. “You eat that? It smells like something died and rotted inside it.”

“Oh yeah I love it,” Poe said enthusiastically. “There’s a point when the flesh becomes so creamy you can scoop it out like ice cream just before it turns bad. That’s when it’s the best. What’s your favourite?” He asked, and then before Hux could answer, added, “No, wait, I know, you can’t tell me because it’s classified information that could give the Resistance an advantage over the First Order just like knowledge of your first name.”

“What does it matter?” Hux asked, “We’re running out of supplies and we’re not even halfway to the outpost. We’re not going to make it.”

“Not with that attitude,” Poe replied even though he knew Hux was right. “We can stretch what we have some more, it’ll give us maybe another month. If we can make it through the mountain pass by then that should be enough time.”

“And if not? What if the Zygerrians have blocked it just to be safe?”

Poe shrugged. “Worst comes to worst we’ll have to hunt those birds and rodents we’ve seen.”

“That means we’ll have to make a fire to be able to cook them. And that means the Zygerrians will spot us easily.”

“Do you think they’re still tracking us?” Poe asked. He had been wondering about that. “We haven’t seen a single of their ships since the first time and that was weeks ago. Maybe they’ve moved on to easier prey.”

“Maybe but if they are still looking for us and only lost track of us then lighting a fire will tell them exactly where we are and that we’re still alive.”

“That’ll be a risk we’ll have to take if the pass isn’t open.”

“There is something else we need to talk about. If we reach the outpost we cannot just sneak in and steal their long-range com-link to call someone.”

“Why not?” 

“If you call the Resistance I’ll be taken prisoner.”

Poe could see where Hux was going with this. “And if you call the First Order the same happens to me.”

They looked at each other, each unwilling to proceed with the obvious.

“Then we’ll have to take a ship,” Poe said. “And once we’re in a neutral space port we go our separate ways.”

“That will be a lot harder to do,” Hux replied. “We don’t know how many Zygerrians will be at the outpost or how many other people they are keeping there.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Poe said with a shrug. “Besides it’s not the first time I commandeered a ship.”

Hux raised an eyebrow and Poe grinned back at him. “Can’t tell you that story, it’s classified.”

/

Hux’s ankle healed more slowly than either of them would’ve liked. With their rations rapidly dwindling Poe had no choice but to take one of their blasters to try and hunt something, which was not strictly in his skillset. Sure, his dad had taught him to lay traps and how to fish back when they had done hiking trips on Yavin but that had easily been twenty years ago. This was a different planet with different wildlife. And even though Poe suspected that the Zygerrians were to blame for the lack of predators or even larger prey animals, there was every chance that the animals on this planet had little to no nutritional value. 

Still, malnourishment was better than starvation. 

Poe stepped out of the cave and started walking downhill, keeping his eyes trained on any sort of moment that would suggest the presence of an animal. The rodents and birds they had seen so far were small and they would need a lot to make a meal out of them.

For a moment Poe considered going back and shooting Hux. The rations would be enough for himself and while carrying both BB8 and the supplies he needed to make to the outpost would be supremely difficult, he could do it if he had to. Who would blame him for this decision? Who would even know? That he had spared Hux’s life so far was already more merciful than anything Hux had ever done. And still Poe dismissed the idea even if he seriously considered it for a moment. If he did ever kill Hux it would be because the man was a direct threat to him, but Poe wouldn’t make himself his judge, jury and executioner. Besides if Poe was being honest with himself he was intrigued by the person Hux was behind the First Order officer facade. 

Walking more than a few steps without BB8 on his shoulders felt strangely liberating. The constant drag and pain had become such a part of him over the last few weeks that without it Poe felt weirdly light and tall, almost weightless.

Compared to the past weeks it was a beautiful day which for this planet meant that it wasn’t raining and when he looked up Poe could even spot pieces of blue sky between the clouds and the canopy of leaves.

Having grown up on a farm on a jungle planet Poe had never minded being around nature but he felt so much more at ease in space, be it in his own ship, on a cruiser or even a space station. Maybe because his first memory wasn’t about Yavin but about sitting on his mother’s lap in her A-Wing and looking up at the stars.

Briefly he wondered what Hux’s first memory was, despite knowing that he probably wouldn’t tell him even under torture, before shaking his head. He needed to concentrate on the here and now if he ever wanted to see space again.

When Poe made it back to the cave a few hours later he had managed to catch three rodents and two birds. He still needed to collect some wood dry enough to be burned, which given the constant rainfall, was unlikely to be quick or easy either. Since they were going to stay by the cave in the near future maybe they could dry some wood inside it.

For a split second Hux looked relieved to see him before his face returned to a more neutral expression. 

“Catch,” Poe said and pretended to throw his quarry at him.

Hux raised his hands to catch it but when he realised the feint he gave Poe an annoyed look.

Poe grinned back unrepentantly and put the dead animals down next to Hux. On top of firewood he’d also need to skin and feather these animals before they could be eaten, which was decidedly not something in his skillset. He had gutted a couple fish back on those hiking trips with his dad but that was about it.

“That’s not much,” Hux said when he looked at the five carcasses. 

“Best I could do,” Poe replied. “I’ll probably get better with more practice.”

Hux made a noise in the back of his throat instead of answering properly as he looked down on the animals with unfocused eyes.

“What are you thinking about?” Poe wanted to know.

“Maybe we should’ve let the Zygerrians catch us. Escaping captivity might have been easier than this.”

“Giving up already?” Poe rolled his eyes. “Thought you still had galactic conquest on your list of things to do.”

“I’m serious,” Hux snapped, looking up at Poe. “It’s something we should consider.”

“The Zygerrians are very good at their job, their entire culture is based around it. Believe me, this is easier.”

“Let me guess,” Hux said acidly, “You have dealt with Zygerrians before and I should just bow to your superior wisdom.”

“Of course, I dealt with slavers before, I was on border patrol when I was still flying for the Republic Fleet,” Poe bit back. “Some of them worked for the First Order. You know maybe I should leave you to the Zygerrians. I bet they’ll sell back to your own people. I wonder how much you will still defend your precious Order when you’re worked to death in one of your mines.”

“Fuck you.”

“That could happen to you, too,” Poe said with a cruel smile on his face. “Would you like that better, getting raped day and night in some whorehouse at the end of the galaxy? Or maybe both. And it’d still be better than what you deserve.”

“If you hate me that much then stop being a coward and kill me. I destroyed your capital and I will not stop until I have erased this sham state of traitors and rebels from the galaxy.” Hux was looking directly at Poe and Poe met his eyes without hesitation. He was not afraid of Hux or of the First Order at all. They were his enemy but not his nightmare.

“I am not you,” Poe said and then turned on his heel and left. Maybe Leia’s lessons about how to walk away from a fight were finally paying off.

/

When he came back Hux had dragged himself out of the cave and was skinning the second of the three rodents Poe had hunted. He seemed surprisingly skilful considering that the knife he was using was almost as big as the rodent itself.

“Thought you didn’t have any survival training.”

“I don’t,” Hux replied, his hands stained with blood. “I had to learn this out of necessity.” His tone was clipped and Poe knew that that was all Hux would say about it. For once Poe wasn’t going to press for an answer. 

“Do you know how to do the birds, too?” He asked as he put the wood he had collected into two different plies: one to be dried in the cave and the smaller one to be used now. Getting a fire going and cooking would take some time and Hux wasn’t done skinning the rodents yet.

“I do,” Hux replied, then he looked up at Poe. There was something in his eyes that Poe couldn’t identify. “I could show you if you want. It’s not that hard.”

Poe recognised the peace offering for what it was. “I’ll get the fire going and then I’ll join you.”

“Of course,” Hux said, dropping his gaze and going back to his work. 

The whole tense atmosphere lasted throughout the day and well into the next few as well. No matter how well they had gotten along lately, in the end they were too different from each other to find common ground for long.

They danced around their fight mostly by not speaking to each other more than was necessary. Poe missed the beginnings of their easy camaraderie that had been developing and so it seemed did Hux. 

A few days after their fight he brought up a rather obscure battle from the Clone Wars and Poe gladly picked it up. Debating battle tactics still seemed to be the safest thing they could do.

Slowly though they edged back into other topics concerning the Clone Wars as well since they both had actually somewhat similar opinions about the Separatists and the Republic and their conduct during this war though for the sake of maintaining their fragile peace neither Poe nor Hux mentioned its resolution.

And with Hux’s ankle taking a turn to the better they were finally able to leave the cave after nearly two weeks. Now that Poe had more practice in hunting and since lighting a fire hadn’t brought the Zygerrians down on them, they stopped every couple days as their supplies were too low and the way ahead too long to forgo eating all the birds and rodents they could find.

“You know,” Poe said a couple days later while they were slowly making their way through yet another densely grown forest, “We never talked about Jakku.”

“There was nothing to discuss,” Hux replied. “You impulsively left cover and were captured immediately and the resistance from the villagers is not worth mentioning.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Poe said. “I was talking about the Battle of Jakku, the last stand of the Empire.”

“And I thought I had made clear that I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why? Because you guys lost? We’ve talked about Endor and Yavin and those were much worse. Kriff, Naboo was a bigger embarrassment.”

“The Empire might have failed but the First Order was born from its ashes that day and will return it to its former glory.” Poe wasn’t sure which one of them Hux was trying to convince but he was utterly failing at it either way.

“You were there, weren’t you? You’re from Jakku, that’s why you don’t want to talk about it.”

“I am not from Jakku.”

“But you were at the battle.”

“Yes. That is why I cannot discuss it objectively.”

“What were you doing there?”

“I was leading my first command.”

Poe raised his eyebrows. “How old were you?”

“Five, I’ve told you that already,” Hux replied, sounding annoyed. “That command was the first test of my abilities as a soldier and a leader.” 

“That is so fucked up I don’t even have any words for it.”

“That’s a first.”

“You are so frustrating, do you know that?” Poe stopped walking as he wrung his hands. “It’s like you don’t even see how much wrong has been done to you and that’s why you keep up the cycle and inflict it on other people.”

“How often do I have to tell you that most people in the First Order are not like your---Finn. Do you think I don’t find you frustrating? You talk about me keeping up the cycle but you don’t see that your people are the ones perpetrating more suffering, more violence, more destruction chasing the illusion of freedom, repeating the same mistakes over and over again. You are selfish.”

“And you are scared,” Poe shot back, looking up at Hux who was standing right in front of him as gravity had pulled them closer together. “Because you’re frightened of what you might do if you actually thought for yourself once.”

There was a pause. For a moment they stared at each other before Hux’s blue eyes flickered downwards. And then Hux kissed him.

Poe stood there, not reacting at all, because he couldn’t...he didn’t...this wasn’t what he wanted? When the fuck had they become this? 

His thoughts were racing through his head and it felt like an eternity but it probably didn’t last for more than a heartbeat before he came to his decision and kissed him back, his hand grabbing the edge of Hux’s tattered coat.

Hux recoiled almost immediately. He stumbled backwards, his eyes wide and frightened and breathing hard. “I’m sorry,” he said the words Poe had never thought he’d hear from him in a context he’d never thought they’d have. Then he turned on his heel and walked away.

Poe stood there, dazed for a few seconds, until he realised what had just happened and followed Hux as quickly as he could, which wasn’t easy with BB8 on his back. He was shouting Hux’s name but the other man seemed quite intent to ignore him, not even sparing a look in Poe’s direction when he caught up with him.

“Wait!” Poe yelled, trying to keeping pace as Hux took long, rapid strides across the forest floor. “Come on, this is ridiculous.”

“We need to make it to the outpost,” Hux said in a clipped voice, looking straight ahead.

“Come on for fuck’s sake you kissed me, you don’t think that warrants at least some sort of discussion?”

“I think the only thing it does warrant is you forgetting it ever happened.”

“And what if I can’t?”

“Well then try.”

“Hux - “Poe reached out and grabbed his arm. For a moment he felt the sensation of the rough, worn wool under his fingertips again before Hux wrenched himself out of his grip.

“Don’t - “He said and there was that scared tone again. “I can’t.” He looked like a frightened animal caught in the headlights of a swoop bike. “I can’t,” he repeated.

“Okay,” Poe raised his hands reassuringly. “You know what, maybe you’re right. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this. We’re both under a lot of stress and these things happen. Just...remember that I kissed you back, okay?” He waited until Hux had given a curt nod, still not looking at him, until he added, somewhat lighter, “And slow down. I’ve got an astromech on my back, remember?”

/

After that incident Hux kept his distance from Poe. Not just emotionally, though they did talk less than they had before, but also physically. Poe noticed it more than he would’ve before their time by the cave because he had gotten used to have Hux nearby. Poe was a naturally tactile person whereas he was pretty sure Hux wasn’t or had been trained not to be. The atmosphere between them was different though it wasn’t as tense as it had been after their fights.

Poe kept feeling Hux’s eyes on him but each time he looked at Hux, Hux was quickly looking away again. Even though they had agreed not to talk about the kiss Poe couldn’t help but think about it. That he had kissed Hux back only made it harder to ignore it had happened. Sure, Hux was an attractive man but Poe was usually not this desperate or shallow. 

It had to be the glimpses of Hux’s actual personality that Poe had gotten every now and then, the tenacity, the loyalty, the sheer intelligence and his sharp wit, that had led Poe to kissing him back.

“Nerf stew,” Hux said, apropos of nothing, pulling Poe from his thoughts. 

“What?” Poe asked, wondering if the hunger gnawing in his stomach had made him miss a conversation opener that would explain Hux’s answer.

“You asked me what my favourite food is, it’s Nerf stew,” Hux sounded strangely out of his depth as if the topic of his favourite food was something he had never discussed before. Finn also sometimes sounded like this when Poe or other people asked him similar questions. 

“I asked you over a week ago,” Poe pointed out though he could’ve slapped himself for it. He hadn’t thought that Hux would tell him anything remotely personal ever again after...

“I had to think about it,” Hux admitted. “I’m sure the trai - Finn,” he corrected himself when Poe glared at him, “told you that the meals are pre-selected.”

“Thought that was only the case for the soldiers,” Poe said. He remembered the first time he had taken Finn and Rey out to a buffet place. The looks on their faces about the sheer variety of food had been both comical and heart-breaking. Finn had tried a little bit of everything at first and then taken more of the things he had liked but Rey had devoured more food than Poe had ever seen a single person manage in his life. Poe’s stomach growled. Maybe thinking about food wasn’t such a great idea in their situation right now.

“I am a soldier,” Hux pointed out tersely.

“Finn said there were privileges coming with higher ranks.”

“That’s not one of them. It would take up too much storage to account for everyone’s personal preferences.”

It made sense, Poe thought, or at least it was a pragmatic reason, not just callousness or cruelty. “When was the last time you ate Nerf stew then?”

There was that look again on Hux’s face. Poe had come to think of it as the ‘I’m conflicted about sharing inconsequential personal information’ look. “When I was five.”

“Think you’re going to have it when we get away from here?”

To his surprise Hux shook his head. “There is no point.”

“Of course not,” Poe scoffed. “Have you ever done something because you wanted to do and not because it was necessary or because it was your duty?” The moment he said it, he realised that he was veering very close to starting another fight.

However, when he turned his head to look at Hux he found that Hux didn’t look angry or annoyed, instead he seemed scared. His eyes were wide and focused and his breathing came quicker than before. His lips were parted slightly and Poe suddenly realised that they were so close that he could feel Hux’s breath on his skin.

“Hux?” Poe asked, feeling slightly concerned because he looked as if he was about to have a panic attack. Or as if he was going to kiss him again.

Hux jerked back as if he had been burned and put a little more space between him and Poe. “What makes you think I want anything like that?” His voice sounded fractured and he was still breathing hard, his skin flushed although that might be from the fire.

Poe shrugged. “Just a thought.”

“I am not like you.”

“No,” Poe said slowly, because he had almost managed to fool himself into thinking that somewhere beyond the duty and devotion for the First Order Hux was a person just like him, “No, I guess you’re not.”

Hux rose to his feet and walked over to his sleeping bag. Now that they knew they could start a fire without having to worry about alerting the Zygerrians to their presence they hadn’t slept near each other since leaving the cage.

Poe figured that meant that their conversation was over for today but instead of crawling into his sleeping bag, Hux grabbed it and carried it over next to Poe’s one.

“What are you doing?” Poe asked as Hux zipped their sleeping bags together. 

“It’s cold. It would be warmer if we share.” Hux answered in the same clipped tone as usual when he didn’t want to talk about something but Poe couldn’t help but feel that they did need to talk about this.

When Hux was finished he just knelt there on his sleeping bag, hands balled into fists resting on his thighs and he was taking long, measured breaths as if he was afraid, no, as if he was scared to death. Poe remembered a few days earlier when Hux had worn the same expression and he realised that Hux hadn’t been scared of him. He had been scared of his own desire.

Hux was looking at him intently. There was something in Hux’s eyes that made it impossible for Poe to look away. He had seen it more and more often lately and he finally understood what it meant.

Poe had witnessed him waging war with himself and now he understood why.

“Warmer huh?” Poe said teasingly and cupped Hux’s face with one hand. He leaned in slowly, giving Hux plenty of time to get away if this wasn’t what he wanted but Hux stayed right where he was until Poe’s lips touched his.

Hux kissed like a man starved for affection. Poe didn’t know whether to feel pity or feel validated because it proved all of his assumptions about the First Order right. It was easy to gently push Hux on his back and pull off his shirt. He was like wax under Poe’s hands, melting into his every touch, his own hands running over Poe’s body everywhere at once as if he had never touched another person like this before.

“If you want to keep your virtue,” Poe said huskily, “you should leave now.”

Hux pulled him back into another kiss with a determined expression, just the slightest hint of fear behind it. But when Poe’s hands opened his trousers he readily lifted his hips so Poe could pull them off.

Hux let out a tiny sound of protest when Poe pulled away from him. Poe had certainly noticed before that Hux was an attractive man but now, skin flushed, lips swollen, with his hair being a mess and his eyes dark and pupils blown, he was sin incarnate. His cock was hard and leaking against his stomach. Poe wanted him. He wanted to leave bites and bruises on that unblemished pale skin like a mark of ownership. He wanted to see his face when he came, wanted to hear what sounds he could get out of him, if he could make him moan, beg and scream. He wanted to see those perfect lips wrapped around his cock and how Hux would look riding him. He wanted to swallow that cock down and know how it felt inside him.

But most of all he wanted Hux to want him too. “Do you want me?”

Hux nodded.

“How?”

Poe could see him squirm a little, cheeks flashing with embarrassment. But he needed to hear it before he pushed past boundaries Hux wasn’t ready to cross yet.

“I want you to touch me. I want what you want.”

“You have no idea what I want,” Poe replied. “Have you ever done this before?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, because you don’t even know what you’re asking for.”

“Then tell me.” Hux spat the words out like a challenge, like he was trying to tell Poe to do his worst because Hux wasn’t scared of him.

Poe held Hux’s gaze as he told him in every detail how he would wrap his hands around Hux’s cock, how he’d jerk him off slowly until Hux would beg him for release. He told him how he’d make Hux suck him off in return, hollow his cheeks and slide his mouth up and down Poe’s cock. “Would you rather swallow or have me come all over your face?” Poe asked and watched Hux bite his lip. “It doesn’t taste good but it’s not that great to have it on your face and in your hair too. Very messy and you don’t strike me as the messy type. Unless you get off on it of course. Sex can be quite contradictory.” He continued with the bruises he would suck into Hux’s neck, above his collar so that if they were rescued, everyone would know. Then Poe told him how he’d finger Hux open. “You’ve ever done this to yourself?” He asked. “Push your fingers inside and search for that spot that makes you see stars?” He wasn’t surprised when Hux almost imperceptibly shook his head. “I’d have you on my lap, watch your face as you fucked yourself on my cock. Or if you’re as precise in bed as you are with a knife then your cock will feel amazing fucking me.”

Hux took a sharp breath as if he couldn’t believe Poe would really let him do to this to him. He was breathing rapidly, his chest rising and falling quickly and his cock looked so hard it had to be painful.

“Still want me to touch you?” Poe asked. His own cock was straining against his trousers.

“Yes.”

Poe had probably never gotten out of his clothes faster. He pressed their bodies together, cocks sliding against each other and Hux came almost immediately. He threw his head back, eyes closed and his mouth open with broken moans falling from his lips. Poe’s cock slid through the mess Hux had left on both of their stomachs, spreading it further. Hux tentatively wrapped a hand around it.

“Tighter,” Poe told him.

Hux was certainly good at taking orders. Poe groaned as he fucked Hux’s fist, chasing after his own orgasm that found him quickly. Poe spilled over Hux’s hand and over their stomachs as well before he collapsed and rolled to the side.

Hux looked at his hand and at the mess of come on his stomach. He wrinkled his nose. “That’s messy.” He looked over at Poe and laughed. “We should get cleaned up, right?”

Poe laughed breathlessly, finding Hux’s reaction oddly endearing, and sat up to kiss him again. He could think of a dozen reasons why this had been a mistake and an equal number of reasons why it could never continue but he chose not to think about them right now. 

/

The lake was small and lined with boulders each easily the size of both of them combined. The placid surface reflected the sun and the surroundings trees but otherwise the water seemed as clear as transparisteel. There was no wind and the whole scenery looked peaceful and quiet.

Poe thought it looked like a dream come true. The water was clear and when he stepped up the edge after setting BB8 down under a nearby tree, he could see all the way down to the bottom. Kneeling down he pushed his hand under the surface and relished in the feeling of water swirling gently around it. 

They had been lucky with the weather lately, it had been warm and sunny for the past four days straight to the point where Hux had actually been sunburned slightly. Together with the sun setting later and later each day Poe figured that they were approaching was passed for summer on this part of the planet.

What he was planning was risky and Hux would object, at least at first, but the opportunity was too good to pass up.

“What are you doing?” Hux’s slightly scandalised tone amused him considering that they had jerked each other off each night since the first one.

“Taking my clothes off, what does it look like?” Poe asked and waggled his eyebrows. “Don’t tell me you object to saying me naked all of a sudden.”

“I was more interested in the why.”

“To take a bath of course or haven’t you seen the lake?”

“I thought we had rules on wading into unknown bodies of water,” Hux said.

“Rivers,” Poe corrected. “Come on, don’t tell me you’re not itching for a bath.”

Hux’s expression told him that he was but not necessarily for one in a lake on a foreign planet. “You don’t know what is in there.”

“Are you scared a lake monster is going to come out and eat me?” Poe asked and pulled his undershirt over his head. Just standing in his underwear in the bright sun showed how much weight he had lost recently. Still Hux thought he had never seen a more beautiful person.

“Yes,” he said flatly.

“Then you better come too and protect me,” Poe replied with a grin before stepping out of his underwear too. He raked his eyes over Hux. “Do you need some help?”

Hux shook his head. “Go, I’ll be a moment.”

“Suit yourself,” Poe said with a shrug and walked towards the water’s edge. He winced slightly each time he stepped on a stone. His feet were covered in blisters though he was faring better than Hux whose boots really hadn’t been made for anything but an indoor environment.

Poe cursed when he set foot into the water which was a lot colder than it had seemed when he had skimmed the surface with his hand. He glanced over his shoulder to see that Hux was taking off his own clothes and was folding them meticulously before setting them down. There was a lightness to him ever since they had had sex. Poe was under no illusion that it would change anything in the long term. They were too different, each of them too certain of their own way to abandon it but for now he appreciated the fleetingness of it.

Deciding that getting over with it quickly would be the best course of action Poe waded into the water until he was about knee deep before letting himself fall backwards into it. The first thing he felt when the water encased him was pain, not because he had hit anything but because it was so cold his entire body seemed to shrink to get away. He felt as if he couldn’t breath and scrambled to get back to his feet.

“Fuck that’s cold,” Poe said, pushing his dripping wet hair away from his face. 

“What did you expect?” Hux asked who was standing at the shoreline, his arms crossed over his chest. He had been skinny before but the lack of food recently made him look gaunt, nothing more than skin and bones.

“Still better than no water.” Poe held out his hand towards him. “Come on.”

Hux inhaled sharply when his feet touched the water but he kept going and even took Poe’s hand once he was close enough. 

“You’re shivering,” Poe said as they were standing right in front of each other. Skinny as he was it was always easy to forget that Hux was a head taller than him.

“It’s cold,” Hux pointed out but they both knew it wasn’t the only reason.

“You can kiss me if you want, you know? Whenever you want.”

Hux did. Once he had scoffed at the very idea of being overcome by lust but now the tiniest things Poe did incited him: how he bit his lip when he concentrated on something, that wicked smile of his, when he looked at Hux from under his lashes, the play of his muscles under his skin, when he ran a hand through his hair, sweat running along the line of his neck, how he smelled in the early morning. 

Poe’s skin felt cool and slick under his hands and Hux loved running his hands over it, feeling the patterns of his ribs and spine, the edge of his hip, the firm muscles of his ass. He had never wanted anyone else like this, hadn’t even imagined himself wanting.

“You keep this up and it won’t matter how cold the water is,” Poe said huskily.

“I’m counting on that,” Hux said and slowly went down to his knees, leaving a trail of kisses down Poe’s chest to his stomach. He wrapped a hand around Poe’s cock and started jerking him while dropping kisses even lower.

“The first night,” he said, looking up at Poe in between nuzzling his abdomen, “You told me you imagined this.”

“You don’t have to – “

“I want to,” Hux interrupted him. “I’ve been thinking about doing this to you ever since you did to me.” He brought his face closer to Poe’s cock and licked it, then took the head into his mouth. He felt Poe’s hand pushing strands of his hair behind his ear and looked up.

“You have no idea how hot you looked like this,” Poe said.

Hux took it as the encouragement it was meant to be and tried to take Poe’s cock deeper. He didn’t manage to very far, certainly not as deep as Poe was able to take him but going by Poe’s murmurs he wasn’t a complete disaster at it either. It didn’t taste that bad, a little unusual but not as bad as he had thought it would. He wrapped his hands around the part of Poe’s cock that he couldn’t take into his mouth and started to bop up and down.

He was rewarded by the little moans that spilled from Poe’s mouth. He tried to vary it a little, knowing he had no actual technique to speak of, by using his tongue and sucking and swallowing around Poe’s cock.

“If you keep this up, I’m going to come soon,” Poe said breathlessly.

In response Hux took Poe’s hands and rested them on his head. He had stumbled upon his roommate at the academy doing this once: he had gripped the girl’s hair and had fucked her mouth before he had come over her face. At the time the scene had disgusted Hux but now the thought of Poe doing this to him was enough to keep him hard despite kneeling in the cold water.

“You’re sure?” Poe asked, his fingers playing with Hux hair.

He hummed in agreement and Poe’s grip on his head tightened. He wasn’t as rough as Hux’s roommate had been. Instead Poe made shallow thrusts so he wouldn’t gag Hux.

Hux used to think that people from the Republic had no discipline, no self-control but clearly that wasn’t the case with Poe. He made a sound of protest at the back of his throat when Poe stopped for a moment.

“Want me to come in your mouth?”

Hux shook his head slightly, knowing that Poe would feel it and ran and his fingertips down his cheek.

“Want me to come on your face?” Poe asked to make sure he had understood.

Hux nodded.

“Fuck,” Poe whispered, biting his lip. Then he started again, the same shallow rhythm as before but a bit more erratic. It was difficult but Hux managed to keep his eyes on Poe’s face, watched as his eyes closed and he threw his head back. Suddenly he pulled away and Hux barely closed his eyes in time before something warm and wet hit his face.

He came as well without even being touched, spurting come over his stomach. For a few moments both of them were too taken by their orgasm to be aware of anything else.

Poe recovered first. His hands trailed down through the mess he had left on Hux’s face, smearing it across it even more. “If I was seventeen this sight would’ve been enough to make me ready for round 2,” Poe said. “You being marked by my come.”

Just hearing him talk about it was enough to make arousal flare thought Hux again. He opened his mouth and licked at the seed, grimacing.

“Told you it tasted bad,” Poe said and laughed softly. “Want to swap so I can reward you properly?”

“I…I already came.” Hux felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment for displaying such lack of self-control.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Poe said as if this was something he found arousing. He pulled Hux to his feet. “Let’s wash off and stay here for the rest of the day. Maybe there’s even some fish I can catch for dinner.”

“We’ve lost so much time already,” Hux protested but it was half-hearted at best.

“Exactly. One more day won’t make a difference,” Poe grinned and kissed him.

/

At Poe’s insistence they lay down naked on the boulders to let the sun dry them. Poe had stretched out on his back, eyes closed while Hux had curled on his side and watched him unabashedly.

“Me and my friends did this all the time back on Yavin,” Poe said without opening his eyes. “There was a lake like this on the other side of the Temple. We’d go down there for a swim after school and our chores were done.”

“It always rained on Arkanis,” Hux said. “I think my father liked it that way because the planet we settled on in the Regions was pretty rainy as well.”

“Sounds like you didn’t spend much time outside.”

Hux shook his head even though he knew Poe couldn’t see him. “The longest I ever spent outside before this was for the survival examination.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s not unlike our situation now. The entire class is dropped on a planet and has to make it back to the landing zone within the timeframe.”

“I thought you said you didn’t have any wilderness training?”

“I don’t,” Hux said. That’s the point.”

“That’s pretty fucked up.”

“Let’s not…I don’t want to fight. Not today.”

Poe opened his eyes and smiled at him. A slow, tantalising smile that unleashed lust inside Hux as if he hadn’t just come an hour or so ago. “Okay. What do you want to do instead?”

“The first night you said…you said you wanted to fuck me.”

“I do, but that’s nothing you do out in the wild with no supplies. You’ll have to wait until we’re back in civilisation if you want that.”

“I wouldn’t have asked otherwise,” Hux replied, leaning over to kiss Poe, now knowing that he could. It was...he hadn’t thought that he would like kissing as much as he did. The slow slide of their mouths against each other, the closeness of their bodies...he had never considered that there was physical intimacy beyond sex and sex had never interested him before.

Poe winced when Hux touched his shoulder.

“You’re injured- “

“Looks pretty bad, doesn’t it,” Poe tried to play down the mess of blistered and broken skin his shoulders had become over the past weeks. Not like he could do anything about it. Leaving BB8 behind was not an option.

“We could swap, my bag has to be considerably lighter by now than yours.”

Poe looked at him calculatingly and Hux realised that Poe was debating whether or not to trust him with something that he considered a friend. As ridiculous as the notion was to Hux that a droid could be seen as a sentient being, to Poe it was very real.

“I’ll be fine,” Poe said, shaking his head with a smile that did not reach his eyes. “I’ve managed so far and it can’t get much worse, can it?”

Hux gave him a look. “I’ll be sure to tell you that when your arms fall off.”

Poe laughed and this time there was some sincerity in it. “If it does get worse I’ll take you up on your offer.” He cocked his head. “You know you still haven’t told me your first name.”

“My father gave it to me. That’s why I don’t use it.”

“He gave you your last name too, didn’t he? I’ve heard one or two stories about Commandant Hux of the Empire.”

“It’s less personal. I share that name with generations not just him.”

“Why not use your mother’s name?”

“Because I don’t know it.”

“You don’t know...how?”

“My mother and I were...separated when I was five. I barely remember her and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fair enough,” Poe said. He reached out and wrapped his hand around Hux’s. “I lost my mum when I was eight. I know it’s not easy.”

Hux gave him a nod to show that he understood the gesture as it was meant. 

They spent the rest of the day at the lakeside, Poe evening managing to catch a couple fish with an improvised net made from the two transport nets that they had. They fried them over an open fire which was more than risky, as the lake was less protected against aerial detection and assault than the forest but for once luck was on their side. No ship flew overhead, no battalion of Zygerrians appeared suddenly to take them prisoner.

Both made sure to avoid anything too personal but when Poe mentioned his desire to get his hands on one of the new Nebulon-K starfighters, he was surprised by Hux scoffing, followed up by an explanation of their inferior combustion-shielding.

“I didn’t think you were that much into ships,” Poe commented.

“It’s not about the ships,” Hux replied, carefully separating the flesh from the fishbone before putting it into his mouth. “It’s just shoddy engineering. The Death Star’s flaw was less obvious.”

“From what I’ve heard it wasn’t obvious at all.”

“Please, have you ever looked at those blueprints? I’m not even talking about the ventilation shaft, that was a necessary evil considering the overall design, but the reactor would’ve been set off and causing a chain reaction by any kind of explosion near it. And then they went and built the exact same kind of reactor into the second Death Star. Talk about not learning from your mistakes.”

Poe was downright fascinated by Hux’s rant. Even when discussing battle tactics, he hadn’t been this passionate about the subject. “Like you did with the Starkiller Base?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“You had good timing,” Hux conceded. “If the reactor hadn’t been loaded with all that helium and hydrogen you could’ve shot at it as much as you wanted and nothing would’ve happened. Kyber on the other hand is notoriously unstable, which is why Ren’s lightsaber is going to blow up in his face one day and I hope I’ll be a safe distance away to witness it” he ended with a vicious little smile.

Poe returned it. “You and me both.”

/

The next morning Poe woke up with a pounding headache and Hux with a sunburn that gave his face almost the same red colour as his hair. He almost wished they could stay at the lake a little longer but they had already spent more than enough time on this planet. It seemed ridiculous that he had once believed this trip could be made within four weeks.

The headache worsened over the course of the day to the point where Poe barely said a word even when Hux directly asked him something. His muscles felt as if someone had replaced them with wool, but wool that was spiked with nails. His skin hurt too, each touch almost more than he could bare, from the heavy weight of BB8 on his shoulders down to the simple brush of his clothes.

Each time Hux suggested a rest, Poe waved him off. This wasn’t the first time he had had a cold and it would be silly to stop just because he was feeling a little off. Besides, it would probably be better after a good night’s sleep.

He did not feel better the next day, if anything he felt worse. His headache was still distractingly painful and even though it was another bright and sunny day Poe couldn’t stop shivering. He felt exhausted too as if he hadn’t slept at all.

“You don’t look good. Maybe we should rest,” Hux said. 

“I’m fine.”

Hux gave him a sceptical look.

“It’s just a cold,” Poe defended himself. “It’ll be over in a few days.”

“As you said, we’ve lost so much time already, another few days won’t make a difference.”

“It’s fine,” Poe replied and tried to lift BB8 back onto his shoulders. They ached even worse than before, the pain cascading down like liquid fire.

Hux caught his wrist with one hand and took the bag from him with the other, setting it back down. “We’re staying.”

“I told you I’m fine.” Poe tried to reach for his bag again but Hux slapped his hand away.

“I need you to survive this planet. That means I’m going to make sure you get the rest you need,” Hux glared at him. “We’re staying.”

“I knew you’d get back at me for that eventually, vindictive bastard.”

“First Order, remember? Now lay back down, I’ve seen corpses that looked better than you.”

“I always look good,” Poe argued but he did as he was told. Getting back into the sleeping bag only helped a little against the cold he was feeling but it was better than nothing. 

Poe slept most of the rest of the day. Hux woke him up in the evening to make him eat but Poe didn’t manage more than a few bites. He was pale and shivering but burning up at the same time. Hux watched him with barely concealed worry while Poe forced himself to eat the soup Hux had made from their precious few reserves of preserved food.

“I’ll be better tomorrow,” Poe said.

Hux nodded, not believing a word of it. He took off his coat and folded it neatly before slipping into the sleeping bag with Poe, wrapping his arms around him from behind to hold him close. Poe’s skin felt clammy under his touch but at the same time he had an unhealthy flush to his complexion.

“My name,” Hux said quietly, “is Armitage.”

Poe glanced over at him. “That’s not so bad. I was expecting something much more Imperial like ‘Sheev’ or ‘Wilhuff’.”

Hux rolled his eyes. “Just like all children in the Republic are called ‘Luke’ or ‘Leia’?”

“Well Kylo Ren’s middle name is Chewbacca, so....” Poe trailed off with a meaningful grin that was ruined by his teeth shattering.

“Really?” Hux asked sceptically.

“Yes, really. Ben Chewbacca Solo Organa,” Poe replied.

“How do you know that?”

“Our parents were friends, we grew up together. Sadly, we drifted apart after he decided to commit mass murder.” It should’ve sounded light and teasing like any other of Poe’s stories but instead it came out sounding weak and breathless. “If you make it back to the First Order please do call him Chewbacca.”

“I do not have a death wish,” Hux said but there was a small smile around his lips.

/

“Poe.”

He was feeling so hot that he couldn’t concentrate. Had someone said his name?”

“Poe.”

Opening his eyes felt like the hardest thing he had ever done. The world was blurry and out of focus. Something cool was put on his forehead but it was barely a drop against a hot stone. 

“Poe.”

It was so warm and he felt so tired. His eyelids dropped close again. He thought he was hearing wind in the trees. Was he back on Yavin? Was that why it was so hot? His parents would be worried sick if he had fallen asleep outside in the sun again. Were they the ones calling his name? He tried to answer them but nothing but a dry gasp came over his cracked lips.

“I’m here, Poe.”

Whoever it was that was calling him, they sounded scared.

“Please stay awake, Poe. Please.”

Poe wanted to do what they were asking of him but the heat was wrapping around him like a blanket, too warm and too tight, and he was so tired. The darkness was whispering to him about quiet and rest.

“Poe!” Someone was holding his hand so tightly it hurt, fingernails digging into his palm. For a moment that pulled him back away from oblivion but why would they do this to him? He just wanted to sleep. His body felt as if it had been filled with lead. It was so heavy he could not find the strength to pull his hand away.

Something was pushed between his lips, small and round. There was a hand at the back of his neck, holding his head up and something else was pressed against his mouth, something containing liquid. Was he thirsty? He was so tired he didn’t know.

“Please drink this, Poe,” someone said. 

He tried to pull his head away. He wanted to sleep.

“Drink this and you can sleep, I promise.”

Had he sat that out loud?

“Come on, Poe, please.”

The voice was so insistent it was annoying. But the promise of rest made him open his mouth a little more and the liquid spilled inside, washing the little round thing down his throat when he swallowed.

“Okay,” the voice sounded relieved. “Okay, that’s good. You can sleep now.” The hand holdimg his head up slipped from his neck and Poe gave in to the sweet embrace oblivion before his head even touched the ground.

/

Poe woke up feeling as if he had towed an X-Wing out of water all by himself. He was exhausted and it seemed all of his muscles were still replaced by wool and even just opening his eyes and turning his head felt like a chore. Hux was next to him and in an awkward position as if he had fallen asleep sitting up. His hand was wrapped around Poe’s wrist, thumb pressing against his pulse point.

His headache seemed mostly gone with just a leftover stiffness in his neck remaining but Poe couldn’t remember anything but he couldn’t remember anything since the night when Hux had told him his first name, he didn’t even know much time had passed since then. Was it just the morning after or had it been longer?

He tried to sit up but his body refused to cooperate, his elbows giving in when he tried to put pressure on them. Poe cursed, his voice cracking through his dry throat, and Hux startled awake next to him.

Without saying anything Hux helped him up and fetched him some water. A rag fell from Poe’s forehead into his lap when he slumped forwards, unable to keep properly upright without help. His body was like a marionette whose strings had been cut. Poe drank greedily, feeling as if he hadn’t anything to eat or drink in days, which might be true. “How long?”

“Two and a half days,” Hux replied. Going by the dark circles under his eyes he hadn’t slept for most of those. 

“Guess it wasn’t a cold then,” Poe joked weakly. 

“It was your shoulders,” Hux replied. “Something in the lake must have gotten into your wounds and it got infected.”

Poe had heard of septicaemia during his first aid course back in the academy as one of the few things where bacta alone was not enough to cure it but as a pilot he had figured he was more likely to die from his ship blowing up than an infection. He did remember that it had a high mortality rate. “Did we have a secret medicine stash I did not know about?”

“There were some pills in the first aid kit we took from shuttle,” Hux explained. “I think they were only painkillers, but I gave them to you anyway.”

Poe let out a breathy laugh. “Let’s hope our luck keeps holding until the end.”

“Luck?” Hux said disbelievingly. “You call this luck?”

Poe tried to shrug but his weakness meant that it was little more than a shoulder twitch. “We’re not dead yet.”

“We’re also weeks if not months away from the outpost,” Hux replied, sounding a little shaky. “Including having to go through a mountain pass and if the Zygerrians have closed that one then we’ll have no choice but to go around it, adding more time and - “

“Shut up,” Poe interrupted him. “There’s no use in worrying about the what-ifs. We’ll take this step by step, dealing with one problem at a time.” He held out his hand and Hux took it. “We’ll be okay, I mean it’s not like we have a great deal of alternatives.”

“You almost died,” Hux pointed out.

“Yeah, well I never said my plan was flawless.”

/

“Here’s a sight I didn’t think I’d see,” Poe announced when the Zygerrian outpost finally came into view, a good six months or more after he and Hux had been shot down by them. It had taken him over a week to get back on his feet after surviving septicaemia and then it had been a slow track upwards towards the mountain pass only to find it blocked after all.

The long way around the mountain range had taken them another few weeks, though thankfully there hadn’t been any more time consuming or life-threatening injuries during it. Though going by how they both looked Poe was seriously wondering if even his father would recognise him. 

Going by the assumption that the Zygerrians had written them off as dead months ago they had dared to make it all the way to the forest’s edge to get a good look at the outpost. It wasn’t anything more than three, maybe four buildings grouped together around a landing platform made from the same prefab constructions that were popular with colonists everywhere in the galaxy. Poe had grown up in one of these until his father and L’ulo had built an actual house that hadn’t been finished until Poe had already been at the academy. 

Hux shot him an incredulous look. “Aren’t you always telling me to keep my hopes up?”

“One of us had to be the optimistic one and it certainly wasn’t going to be you,” Poe replied, to which Hux raised his eyebrows a little but ultimately conceded the point with a tilt of his head.

“We should watch them for a couple days to get a better idea of how many there are and what their routines are,” Hux said.

Poe rolled his eyes, “You do know that I’ve done this before, right?”

“Sorry about trying to lay out a plan, Commander.”

“You’ve got the title but I have the experience, beats everything.”

“Then what do you suggest, wise one?” Hux’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“That we watch them for a couple days to get a better idea of how many there are and what their routines are,” Poe grinned, even Hux’s acerbic tone couldn’t ruin his mood now that they had finally reached the outpost. “We should also eat up the rest of our meals to get some strength back.”

To observe the outpost, they needed to get closer than either of them was comfortable with but they had little choice. It wasn’t as if they could live off of the wildness indefinitely and neither did they want to. 

They soon figured out that there were six Zygerrians living in the outpost though the cages near the landing platform that the three prefab buildings were centred around were suspiciously empty. Either the hunt for slaves had been going badly lately or something else was going on.

During the day usually three or four of the Zygerrians left the outpost in their ship while the rest stayed behind. Poe had argued for making their move during the day when the odds would be more in their favour, especially since they had the element of surprise.

Hux on the other hand suggested attacking during the night, which Poe had at first been sceptical about given that Zygerrians were descended from a crepuscular species and hence had great eyesight in the dark. But once Hux had pointed out that they needed the ship and attacking while the ship was not at the outpost carried the risk of the remaining Zygerrians noticing something was up and leaving the planet behind which would strand them both possibly forever. 

“Are you sure you can do it?” Poe asked as they were waiting for the twilight to turn into night. For months the days had become longer and longer but recently that had reversed, still the night was short and their window of opportunity even shorter. 

“I’ve killed people before,” Hux reminded him. “Billions of them.”

“Not something to brag about and also not the same thing. You can’t freeze like you did last time.”

“I froze afterwards, not before I shot him.” Hux’s nose flared in annoyance. “Besides if I can find a slicer we can take them out one by one instead of all at once.”

“I still can’t believe you’re some kind of tech genius.”

“And I can’t believe you thought Snoke came up with the idea for the Starkiller Base.” It was an argument that was weeks old and familiar at this point. Hux took another look at the sky. “I think we should start moving.”

“Hey,” Poe caught his wrist. “One kiss for luck?”

“Are you going to pray to the Force as well?” Hux replied but he leaned in and kissed Poe, trying not to think that this might be the last time.

“It can’t hurt,” Poe whispered against his lips before kissing him again.

The outpost was surprisingly undefended, not even a fence circled around the buildings as if the Zygerrians knew that there were no predators or large animals to be concerned about. Which only reinforced Poe’s theory that they were to blame for the lack of wildlife on this planet. And as for any potentially escaped prisoners.... well, it wasn’t as if they had anywhere to go on this planet.

The planet had no moon so the night was almost pitch black with only some starlight and a few lamps on the outside of the prefab buildings as their guidance. If this had been any other situation Poe would’ve thought this to be a trap but the Zygerrians really did seem arrogantly confident in their situation.

The two smaller buildings seemed to be the sleeping quarters while the bigger, third one seemed to be the command centre/community building, again a standard design that Poe was familiar with.

It had rained this morning and the ground underneath their feet was still soft enough to swallow most of the noises they made while moving closer to the outpost. They had left BB8 at their campsite together with the rest of their pitiful leftover supplies. If they were successful they knew where to retrieve them and if they weren’t it hardly mattered anymore. Poe had sworn to himself that he’d rather to go down fighting than be taken prisoner and he suspected that Hux thought the same.

Poe readied his blaster with one hand and quickly reached over to squeeze Hux’s hand with the other. “Good hunting.”

“You, too.” 

Months and months of tracking through the wilderness while continuously in each other’s company meant that they didn’t need words anymore to communicate. Even in the near total darkness of the outpost each touch, each gesture, each change in breathing rhythm could be interpreted correctly by either of them. Poe couldn’t remember if he had ever felt this much in sync with another person. He could hear his own blood rushing in his ears with each heartbeat. 

They made their way out of the forest and closer the outpost carefully. Hux had even taken off his boots since they were little more than scraps held together by strings pilfered from the transport nets at this point. Step by step they took their time, keeping an eye out for anything that could be a proximity alarm or any kind of noise coming from the build that would suggest they had already tripped one.

Near the landing platform they split apart, each of them taking a different direction. Hux had wanted to try and find a splicer to get the doors open easily but Poe had vetoed the idea as too time consuming and too likely to lead to their discovery. 

He reached the prefab building on the right side of the landing platform and tried not to shiver when he passed the empty cage. If things had only gone slightly differently Hux and he would’ve been in there instead of out here.

Poe pressed his ear against the door. He wasn’t sure if he could hear anything above his own heartbeat, but he had to try at least. Everything seemed to be quiet. He glanced over to the other building where he could see Hux lean against the wall right next to the door. He caught his eyes and raised his hand, counting down from three. Their next step in the plan relied on the mechanism that made damaged locks open the doors they were installed in as a precaution against trapping people in a room filled with fire or toxic fumes. Of course, there was no guarantee that the Zygerrians hadn’t changed the locks.

Only one way to find out, Poe thought as took away his last finger, aimed and pulled the trigger. For a half a heartbeat that seemed to last half a lifetime nothing happened. But then the door slid open and Poe moved quickly. He fired eight shots in quick succession, one into each bunk that he could make it out from what little light made it through the covered-up window. 

Still pointing his blaster at the bunks, he moved inside and pulled the curtain aside to let more light into the room. Only two bunks were occupied, so Poe fired two more shots into each to make sure that the Zygerrians inside were really dead.

Something was wrong, he could feel it in his bones. Just as he pulled the blankets aside to reveal two dead Zygerrians the window on the opposite building shattered. Suddenly Poe realised what had been wrong. There should’ve been three Zygerrians in here, not two, which meant…

He turned on his heel and sprinted out of the room and across the landing platform. There had been no more shots since the one that had destroyed the window and that was worrying. Still as he approached he could hear fighting noises coming from inside so maybe Hux had only lost the blaster and not the whole battle.

As he entered, blaster ready, the sight that greeted him was not what he had expected. Like him Hux had caught the first two Zygerrians in their bunks, a third one was slumped lifelessly against a wall and the fourth one was on the ground, Hux straddling her, his thumbs buried in the Zygerrian’s eye sockets. The Zygerrian wasn’t dead yet, she was twitching, her hands clawing that Hux’s shirt that had been torn apart almost in half.

Poe moved gingerly so as not to startle Hux, picking up the blaster that had clattered to the ground at some point during the fight. “Hux?”

Hux didn’t react and he did not ease his grip on the Zygerrian’s head. There was blood on his face but different to the blood on his hands it was red so it had to his own. A shiver ran down Poe’s spine, not because of the blood but because of Hux’s eyes. They were cold and remorseless and Poe wondered if he had looked like this when he had ordered the destruction of the Hosnian System.

“Hux?” He repeated and this time Hux reacted, raising a bloody hand in Poe’s direction. “Give me the blaster, I’m going to finish this.”

Poe did. This was after all what they had come here to do. There had been a time when he had been strictly against executions but right now he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty as he watched Hux fire a shot directly into the Zygerrian’s head. Her hand fell limply from its grip on Hux’s torn shirt and the sound seemed unnaturally loud.

The relief hit Poe so strongly that he sagged back against the closest wall and slid downwards until he hit the ground. They had done it. More than six months and they had really done it. He gave a startled, breathless kind of laugh and raked a hand through his hair.

Hux briefly looked over to him and then down at his own hands. “This,” he said decisively, “Is the grossest thing I’ve done in my life.”

“That’s what you’re focusing on right now?”

“Should I be laughing hysterically on the floor like you?”

Poe tilted his head and grinned at him. “Maybe do wash your hands first.”

The first thing they did was to search all three buildings and the ship in case there were more Zygerrians than they knew about. The sun was already creeping over the horizon by the time they were done and Poe insisted on going back for BB8 right now instead of after they had gotten some sleep despite being exhausted and the adrenaline that had kept him awake so far wearing thin.

But BB8 was his friend and Poe wasn’t in the habit of abandoning them any longer than he had to. Besides they needed their sleeping bags if they wanted to sleep in the main building which did not have any beds. They had left the bodies where they were even though they would start to rot soon since both buildings had destroyed locks now and even though they should be the only people on the planet neither of them wanted to take that risk.

Hux retrieved his boots from the forest’s edge and together they made their way back to the campsite where everything was as they had left it. By the time they were back at the outpost the sun stood high in the sky and even though Hux’s paranoid nature made a half-hearted suggestion about searching the outpost again, they were both too tired.

Poe would’ve loved to take advantage of the refresher but he could barely keep his eyes open even as he was walking and Hux too seemed half asleep on his feet. They stumbled into the main building, Poe setting down BB8 by the door while Hux unrolled their sleeping bags. After making sure that the door was locked both of them crawled into their sleeping bags and were asleep within a heartbeat.

/

Poe woke to the soft, familiar sound of someone working on a console. The quiet tapping always reminded him of rain hitting transparisteel and for a moment he was about to drift back into sleep, content that he was back home and it was probably just Finn being up obnoxiously early as usual. Then he remembered why he shouldn’t be hearing that noise and was wide awake at once. Poe’s hand was already reaching for his blaster when he opened his eyes and realised that Hux was sitting at one of the consoles, tapping at the screen with a look of utter concentration on his face.

Hux had already taken advantage of the refresher though he hadn’t gone back to the clean-shaven look that he had worn when they had crashed. Instead his beard was trimmed and his hair, though clearly washed, was still long and fell down to his shoulders. He was also wearing new clothes, probably taken from the Zygerrians. They just about fit him which meant they would definitely be too big on Poe.

He didn’t notice that Poe was awake until he was nearly beside him, saying “Good morning.”

Startled Hux reached for his blaster which was lying next to the console but when he realised that it was Poe the tension bled from his body. “Good evening rather,” he replied and gestured out of the window which showed nothing but the pitch blackness of a moonless night.

“What are you doing?” Poe asked, looking over Hux’s shoulder at the console. A couple different documents were open, none of which he could read.

“I’m going through the Zygerrians’ files,” Hux replied. “Unfortunately, most of them are written in their native language and without a connection to the holonet I cannot translate them.”

“You want to know how they managed to pull us out of hyperspace,” Poe said. They had tossed back theories once or twice but Hux’s technical knowledge was far beyond what Poe could keep up with. His engineering knowledge didn't reach far past ships and droids.

“Yes, the ship out there is too small to generate its own gravitational well. And even if the Zygerrians somehow managed to minimise it, they would’ve still needed two.”

“Anything else that’s interesting?”

Hux shook his head. “I haven’t gotten very far yet.” He looked up at Poe. “There’s a refresher in this building. I brought over some clothes from the other two buildings. And there’s food in the kitchen.”

“You’ve read my mind,” Poe said as he walked into the direction Hux had gestured to. When he glanced back over his shoulder Hux had already gone back going through the files on the console and Poe couldn’t help but wonder if more was going on than he was telling him but then decided that that was a problem for post-shower and food time.

Food first, Poe decided, at least for a snack or else he would probably pass out in the shower before he had been in it long enough to appreciate it. He made a cursory inspection of the kitchen and the available food before settling on a yoghurt and some fruit, both things he had badly missed in the past months. He washed it down with a cup of caf that Hux must have brewed when Poe had still been asleep. Given his lack of other generally useful skills, the caf was surprisingly good but then again Poe would’ve drunken Jess’ sludge after more than six months of withdrawal.

He couldn’t tell how long he stood under the shower. It felt so good to stand under the spray of warm water and letting it run through his hair and over his body. To finally feel clean again. The lake hadn’t been bad, aside from it nearly killing him, but this was truly the foundation of civilization. 

Poe slipped from the shower to shave and cut his hair though he left it a little longer than usual or else the others would not believe him that he had been stranded on a planet, before going back under the water. Seeing himself in a mirror had been a bit of a shock. He had a lost a lot of weight and it showed so much that he almost hadn’t recognised the gaunt, hollow-eyed creature looking back at him.

“Thought you had drowned,” Hux said when Poe did finally re-join him, wearing new clothes and carrying two more cups of caf.

“Don’t worry,” Poe said and put the second cup down on the console, “I’m a good swimmer.”

“Who said I was worried?” Hux asked but he did not hesitate when Poe leaned down to kiss him.

“Found anything interesting while I was gone?” Poe asked as he sipped his caf.

To his surprise Hux nodded. “A couple files are written in basic. The Zygerrians put the people they catch on a transporter that comes once a month to bring supplies.”

“So, they’re not coming back anytime soon,” Poe said. “Which is good. I wanted to check the ship and then I need to power up BB8 but we could be leaving here by tomorrow.” He felt reluctant to say it out loud. A part of him did not want to leave here, no matter how much he had wished for it in the past months.

“We shouldn’t stay longer than necessary,” Hux agreed but he was using the same clipped tone again that usually suggested that their conversation was threatening to enter private territory so to speak. 

“I mean I would not rush it if it’s not necessary,” Poe said slowly, watching Hux’s face for the slightest bit of reaction. “I’d rather run some proper tests on the ship and BB8 is going to give me quite the lecture since I promised him it’d be only four weeks. And after the last couple months a few days of rest wouldn’t be undeserved.”

“It would be prudent to take advantage of...of…” Hux said, realising what Poe was trying to say.

“Proper food?” Poe grinned at him.

“Showers.”

“Beds.” Their eyes met just when the word made it past Poe’s lips. They were both thinking the same thing.

“Do you think the Zygerrians will have the supplies you mentioned?” Hux asked, feeling lust flare through him just at the idea.

“I hope so,” Poe replied. “I really fucking hope so. Else I’ll find us some nice hotel in the outer rim once we got that ship and won’t let you leave the room for a week.”

“Should we...I mean we could take two mattresses from the other buildings,” Hux suggested, suddenly openly flustered.

Poe grinned at him. “I like the way you think.”

/

They carried the mattresses back in the early light of the day since both of them were unwilling to leave the safe shelter of the building during the darkness. The time in between they plundered the kitchen until they were nearly sick and washed it down with too many cups of caf. 

There was a giddy kind of anticipation between them that Poe hadn’t thought Hux was capable of. They kept smiling each other each time their eyes met and Poe couldn’t remember if he had ever wanted anyone this badly before. 

“You know I feel like taking another shower,” Poe announced when they had finally brought the two beds back to the main building and placed them on the floor. Zygerrians were bigger than standard humans and therefore the mattresses were bigger as well, which was the only thing Poe could appreciate about them. “Want to join me?”

There was a moment of hesitation. There always was, even when Hux was just as desperate for closeness as he was but then Hux nodded. He wore the same expression on his face as he had when he had crawled under Poe’s blanket the first time. He ran his fingers down Poe’s arm and tangled their hands together. “Did you find something…” He trailed off, blushing.

“Yeah, I did,” Poe grinned up at him. “If you still want to. Only if you still want to. It’s not a requirement or anything.”

“I want to,” Hux replied simply. He followed Poe into the refresher, their hands still linked.

They undressed and Poe noticed with amusement that Hux folded his clothes just as carefully as he had done each night with his coat in the forest whereas Poe just tossed them aside. He pulled Hux under the water and into a kiss, burying both of his hands in Hux’s long hair. 

Hux wrapped his arms around him, pulling them closer together and it felt nice to be able just to stand like this, with the warm water cascading down his back and Hux’s body pressed against his chest. He could feel Hux’s cock harden against his abdomen and broke the kiss, slowly sinking down to his knees.

“I thought - “Hux stopped himself, breath hitching in his throat.

“No reason we can’t do both,” Poe replied, wrapping a hand around Hux’s cock. He waited for Hux’s permission, a nod in this case, before taking him into his mouth. Even though it was a strain on his neck Poe liked to keep his eyes trained on Hux’s face when he did this. It was a treat to see Hux’s normally so emotionless expression fall apart and it made him look years younger.

“Poe.” The way Hux said his name as if no other words existed was great too. Poe took him deeper, enjoying how full and heavy he felt on his tongue. He blindly groped for one of Hux’s hands and brought it to his head, letting out a moan around him when Hux tugged at his hair just like Poe had wanted him too.

“Poe.” He grabbed Hux by the hips to keep him from choking him while fully appreciating that Hux had now buried both of his hands in Poe’s hair and was pulling sharply. That had always been a sure-fire way to get him going. Shifting slightly so that he could use his arm to hold Hux back, Poe used his free hand to caress the soft skins behind Hux’s balls and was immediately rewarded with a moan and Hux’s fingers tightening in his hair. He let his fingers wander a little further, circling the rim of Hux’s hole and when he looked up he could see Hux giving him a jerky nod.

Slowly he pushed his finger inside, just the tip at first to let Hux get used to the feeling. Poe took Hux all the way and swallowed around him at the same time as his pushed in the rest of his finger.

“Poe!” It sounded more than hoarse cry than his name when Hux came, his hands grabbing Poe’s hair so tightly it hurt which was just how Poe liked it. He waited until Hux had finished until he pulled away, Hux’s fingers slipping limply from his hair.

“Still want me to fuck you through that mattress we explicitly dragged over here for that purpose?” Poe asked as he got back to his feet.

“If you wanted to discourage me, this was the wrong way to do it,” Hux answered with an endearingly breathless quality to his voice. He reached out and rested his hand on the back of Poe’s neck before he kissed him.

“That’s what a guy likes to hear,” Poe smirked and switched the shower off. 

They dried themselves and Poe retrieved the lube he had found in the refresher cabinet of one of the other buildings. When he came back Hux was sitting on the mattress, arms casually slung over his knees. The morning sun was coming through the window and made him look radiant even if his nervousness was obvious to Poe.

Their eyes met and Poe could see the pupils in Hux’s blue eyes widen as the expression of slight anxiety was replaced with a hungry desire.

“It’s easier if you - “Poe started to say but Hux interrupted him.

“I want to see your face. I don’t want to think someone else...I want to see you,” he added quickly.

“Works for me,” Poe smiled. He put the lube down next to the mattress and sat down next to Hux, caressing his cheek before kissing him. “You’re beautiful.”

Hux scoffed. “Ever took a look at yourself?”

“I said beautiful,” Poe’s smile widened into a grin. “I’m drop-dead gorgeous.”

Hux snorted and Poe felt some of that tension leave his body. “Can’t argue with that.”

“Good, you shouldn’t,” Poe said and gently pushed Hux backwards onto the mattress, settling between his open legs as he kissed him. Hux’s skin was still warm from the shower and Poe enjoyed the sensation as he laid down on top of Hux.

This time Hux’s hands found their way into Poe’s hair without needing encouragement and Poe moaned into the kiss when he felt the fingers entwine with his strands. And thankfully they stayed there even when Poe broke the kiss to trail his mouth downwards over Hux’s throat and his chest to his stomach. He could feel his breath quicken under his touch, his heart his heart beat faster.

“You’re okay?” Poe asked, resting his chin on Hux’s stomach just below his navel.

“Yeah,” Hux breathed the word than he spoke it.

“You can still change your mind,” Poe said as he sat up and reached for the lube. 

“I don’t want to change my mind,” Hux replied, a touch of annoyance in his tone.

“Just saying that you can, not that you must,” Poe shrugged. “Spread your legs a little more.”

Hux did. He felt exposed and slightly ridiculous but before those feelings could overwhelm him, Poe leaned over and kissed him again. Given the choice Hux would ask him to never stop. Poe pushed a finger inside him, smoother and quicker than in the shower and it wasn’t so much the sensation itself as the anticipation for more that made his heart beat quicker. He forced himself to relax as he felt the tip of the second finger circle his hole. He wanted this so much, had dreamed about it for weeks and weeks as they had tracked through the wildness.

Poe smiled at him as he slowly worked two fingers in and out of him and Hux couldn’t help but smile back. He had never felt so much for another person but Poe was making him break all the rules he had set for himself, all the rules he had never even considered breaking.

Perhaps it was the lack of expectations that made him feel so safe with Poe. Or maybe it was the cheerful determination that had brought them through months of hardship to their goal. Even if he had been trained in survival Hux doubted that he would have made it here without Poe.

The sunlight coming from the window made Poe’s dark hair shine, tiny highlights like stars in the night sky and his dark eyes, shadowed as he bent his head to pour more lube over his fingers, pulled Hux to him like the black hole at the centre of the galaxy. Which was what he had become in the past months, the focus of Hux’s world, its gravitational centre. The responsibilities that lay behind and before him seemed like a distant dream compared to the reality of Poe’s fingers inside him.

A drop of sweat ran down the side of Poe’s neck and Hux wished he was close enough to chase it with his tongue. He had never felt like this for another person and it seemed impossible that he ever would again.

“Please,” his own voice sounded foreign to his ears. “I want...please…”

Thankfully Poe did not ask him again if he was sure and there was a tremor under his skin when Hux reached for him. He was not as in control as he wanted him to believe. Poe pushed into him torturously slow and Hux was close to snapping at him if he could only remember how to breathe. He lacked the words even to think about how he was feeling, what he was feeling. 

Panting, he entwined his fingers into Poe’s hair, knowing that he liked that, and brought their mouths together. When Poe was all the way inside him, when he drew back only to push into him again, Hux felt that he was too out of control to be careful and Hux didn’t want it careful, he wanted hard, he wanted whatever Poe wanted to give him. He wanted Poe to ruin him for anyone else.

Poe seized his hips in a brutal grip, fingernails cutting tiny sickle moons into his skin, a star map of love and fear and lust. He had wanted to take this slow but something wild thrumming beneath his skin made it impossible. 

Beneath him Hux’s body was strung tight and they breathed more into each other than actually kissing but Poe did not mind. He smeared their mouths together, kissing Hux as if he wanted to steal the air from his lungs.

Around him Hux tightened as he came, fighting for air but did let go of him before his own climax washed over him and he pushed into Hux without consideration for pain or feelings, past or future. The world seemed to slow down then stopped entirely, time frozen still and the entire universe with it. 

“Hey,” Poe said and his voice sounded strange even to himself. “You’re okay?”

“Is it like this every time?” Hux asked, something in his voice Poe couldn’t identify.

“It can be, if you want it to be,” Poe replied since he had no idea if Hux had meant it in a good or a bad way.

“I’d like that.”

/

The days that followed were spent in a strange sort of stalemate. They were both reluctant to move forward with the goal that had brought them together in the first place. Poe ran every diagnostic and check up on the ship that he could think off. She was a good enough ship in fine shape though a little slower to what he preferred and he wouldn’t have given her a second glance in a shipyard. Hux still went through the files and if he copied some of them on a datastick, well, Poe knew how to destroy those. He hadn’t forgotten that Hux was a member of the First Order and the idea of them getting their hands on that kind of advanced hyperspace technology gave him chills.

The odd domesticity between them was even more pronounced now that they weren’t tracking through wilderness. Sleeping, eating, living together, all that seemed natural. A few days turned into a week, then into two. The arrival of the Zygerrian transporter loomed ahead and they both knew they needed to leave before that but neither was willing to bring up the topic of leaving first.

As the days dragged on they spent more and more time in bed, each of them unwilling to let the other one out of their sight. Poe knew he was being a little harsher than he would have usually been and left more marks than was probably prudent but he couldn’t help it. If this had to end, and they both knew there was no alternative, then he wanted to leave some kind of mark, a memory seared into Hux’s mind that this had been real.

In the end it was Poe who brought up the topic as he was carding his hand through Hux’s hair while his head was resting on his chest. Fresh love bites littered Hux’s throat and his hips were framed with bruises Poe had left there.

“You know...you could defect...like Finn.” Beneath his touch he could feel Hux tense. He slipped out from under Poe’s arm and leaned up on his elbow. 

“I’m responsible for the destruction of the Hosnian system,” Hux said calmly. “Even if I defected and offered your Republic all the intel I have, the best I’d get is an execution.”

“You don’t know that.” Poe reached up, resting his hand against the side of Hux’s face.

“You are very naive for a soldier.” Hux pushed into his touch like a cat seeking affection before he pulled away. “I don’t want to defect anyway. This changes nothing.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Hux narrowed his eyes at him. “You could defect as well. The First Order could use a pilot like you.”

Poe shook his head. “Told you, I like having choices.”

“We can’t stay here.”

“I wasn’t going to suggest that,” Poe replied with half a smile. Staying wasn’t an option and neither was running away. He couldn’t abandon the Resistance any more than Hux could abandon the First Order. “I think we should leave soon.”

“Yes,” Hux’s tone was just as reluctant as Poe’s. “We should.”

“I was thinking tomo-”

“We should leave today,” Hux interrupted him. “There’s no need...we’ve left it for long enough as it is.” He threw back the covers and got to his feet. At the door to the refresher he looked over his shoulder. “Aren’t you going to join me?”

Poe did.

Afterwards Hux did not slip back into the Zygerrian clothes they had been wearing since they had taken the outpost. Instead he retrieved his uniform, tattered as it was, and slipped on his boots.

Poe followed his example though his flight suit felt constricting in a way it never had before. Just like he had cleaned BB8 as well as he could but hadn’t actually switched him on yet. As guilty as he felt about Poe did not need a witness of his relationship with Hux. BB8 wouldn’t understand.

“We should decide on a suitable place to part ways,” Hux said as he fastened the strings that held his boots together. 

“It’s a pretty small ship, not made for long hyperspace jumps so the choice isn’t great.”

“What about Canto Bight?” Hux asked. “Is that in range?”

“Are you sure?” Poe asked. “We have no idea how the war went during the past six months. Maybe we should try a closer system.”

“Canto Bight managed to stay neutral even during the Empire,” Hux replied. “Destabilising them is in no one’s interest.”

“Fair enough,” Poe shrugged. “We should be able to make it there.” 

He shouldered BB8 one last time and looked around. Next to him Hux took his hand and squeezed tightly. It could’ve been worse, Poe thought as the door closed behind them and they walked towards the ship. It could’ve been worse.

/

Being in a pilot’s seat again, taking the ship upwards through the atmosphere and into the blackness of space felt like coming home. Poe couldn’t help but grin as he felt the ship break through into the emptiness of the void between the stars. He was tempted to throw some crazy manoeuvre just because he could but they didn’t have the fuel for it.

Still he leaned back and enjoyed the familiar lurch when the ship jumped into hyperspace. 

“You can keep the ship once we reach Canto Bight,” Poe said to Hux who was sitting in the seat next to him. “There’s more ships going to my corner of the galaxy than there is to yours.”

“Thank you,” Hux replied but it was in neutral tone that Poe had come to associate more with his officer’s facade than the person behind it.

He stood up and kissed Hux, possibly, probably for the last time. “I’m going to switch on BB8. In case he shocks me, it’s okay, I did break my promise to him.”

“I’ll never understand you,” Hux replied.

In more ways than one, Poe thought.

BB8 did not shock him, which Poe considered

lucky. Instead he rolled back and forth on the same spot, lecturing Poe in beeps and trills in such detail that Poe wondered if he had picked up some ideas from R2 scolding Luke.

“I’m sorry,” Poe said for the twelfth time. “I really did not mean the trip to take that long.”

[You promised me!]

“I know,” Poe replied. It wasn’t hard to be apologetic when he did really feel guilty about it all.

[You’re as bas as Skywalker!]

“I deserved that,” Poe replied. He was sitting cross legged in front of BB8, his back touching the pilot seat which Hux had taken over in his absence.

[I should leave you for Rey.]

“Come on, buddy, you don’t mean that,” Poe reached out tentatively and touched BB8’s hull. It was still scratched up and with dirt ingrained where he hadn’t been able to clean it out.

[Yes I do.] BB8 pouted or so Poe always thought when he used that kind of tone for his beeps but at least he still didn’t shock him or roll away.

“I am really, really, truly sorry,” Poe said, stroking BB8’s casing. “Tell me how I can make it up to you.”

[I’ll think about it.] BB8 rolled a little closer. 

“You’re the best,” Poe replied and briefly leaned his forehead against BB8’s dome.

[I know.]

“We’re leaving hyperspace in about forty seconds,” Hux from the pilot seat.

BB8 glanced in his direction and Poe swore he could see his targeting display appear for the fraction of a second. [Why did you bring him?]

“Because that’s the deal we’ve made.”

BB8’s answer was frowned out in the creaky noises the ship made when they jumped out of hyperspace. Poe got back to his feet and Hux vacated the pilot seat for him. They were running on their last fuel reserves, so if Canto Bight’s militia wouldn’t allow them to land then they were pretty much fucked.

But for once everything went smoothly. When Poe asked for landing permission it was granted almost immediately and the landing itself was practically textbook. As they approached the spaceport Poe couldn’t spot any kind of sign that either the First Order or the Republic had taken control of the planet, everything seemed to be business as usual.

The spaceport on Canto Bight seemed obnoxiously bright and loud after months of tracking through wildness and far away from any kind of civilisation. A few months ago Poe would’ve wanted nothing more than to be here, right now though he wished he was back in the forest on Ilea, mud and rain and all.

He had send BB8 ahead to find them a long-distance com relay to contact the Resistance. They probably assumed him to be dead, having without a trace for more than six months. He suddenly felt guilty for having thought about them so little in the past few months. Survival had taken the forefront of his thoughts, followed by...Poe looked at Hux who was standing at the edge of the ship’s ramp. In his tattered uniform and still unshaven he looked more like he had spent the last six months on an uninhabited planet than Poe did.

Poe didn’t know how long it would take BB8 take establish communication with the Resistance but he pulled Hux back into the ship and out of sight anyway. Though it was him who was pushed up against the nearest wall as Hux kissed him like he had the first night, as if he was starved of affection.

“Still don’t want to defect?” Poe asked quietly.

Hux shook his head. “What about you?”

“Can’t say I do.”

“I wish – “he stopped himself but Poe understood him.

“Yeah,” he said. “Me too.” He leaned up to kiss Hux one last time, then his hand slipped from his as he turned and left and did not look back. There was an ocean of pain and history between them. And they both wished it could have been different.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me [ here](http://smaragdbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


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